


Magnolia Seven-Seven

by soprana



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, BAMF Women, Bad Boys, Basically adult situations, Drug Addiction, F/M, Gang Violence, Humor, I tried to balance it, ITS EVERYTHING, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Modern Era, Murder, Redemption, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Tension, Street Rats, Violence, Ye have been warned, and I couldn't stop it, and then it got serious, angst and fluff and drama and humor, bb99 au, buddycopau, funny cop au with heavy topics, it started as a funny cop au, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-10-14 11:48:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soprana/pseuds/soprana
Summary: Magnolia is like every other city, full of traffic jams and hoards of people. When Captain Gajeel and Detectives Gray and Natsu get involved with a shady crime boss that seems to have the whole crime ring in his back pocket, they need a little more backup to bring him down: i.e ADA Lucy Heartfilia, Evidence Technician Levy McGarden, and Caffeinator Juvia Lockster.





	1. Just Peachy

**Author's Note:**

> M for adult situations and language
> 
> A/N: This is all Alisha’s fault. Blame @rivendell101 for this monstrosity. Buddycop!AU conceived after eating 22 Reese’s and no sleep…after how many months of not writing.

Gray mentally promised to strangle whomever decided shove glitter and peppermints down this car’s dashboard vents. It wasn’t even hot out and yet the car smelled of mint and tiny rainbow glitter blinded him if he turned his head the wrong way.

Plus it made the dashboard look like a wayward unicorn shat all over.

Of course his captain got first pick of the undercover cars and of course he picked the coupe, leaving them with the SUV with the atomic glitter explosion all over. He wondered if there was regrets, anger, maybe bitter acceptance when the poor soul turned on the defrost and met his sparkled fate. At least the car forever smelled of peppermint, the candy caked into the bowels of the car for eternity. No amount of body odor or bad burritos can ever clear it. He turned the air conditioning to maximum.

“Batman can totally beat Aquaman. Remember he is the night AND a billionaire.”

Oh, right. Before his intense pondering of the dashboard, he and his partner had been in an intense debate.

Natsu Dragneel. Gray had no way to explain him properly. Who could? He supposed Natsu felt the same way about him, despite being rivals in the academy. Pink hair aside, the man had grit for an idiot. He was the only one Gray would trust with his back…and their captain too.

“Nah, Aquaman has Batman beat.”

Natsu tensed, flashing his signature ‘eat shit’ look. It was kinda like a constipated face, but with more rage in his brows. Honestly, how did he make Detective? He was a bag of half eaten, dusty Reese’s: useless to everybody and, with as much affection as Gray could muster, totally gross in theory.

“You know what Gajeel said. ‘Back up yer opinions’,” he said, mimicking Gajeel’s gruff tone. Huh, he even did the little lip curl characteristic common for Gajeel. “So, back your wrong opinion up.” He changed the A/C dial back to maximum heat.

Gray curled his lip and wrinkled his nose. Patience is key, he told himself. Plus, the captain would kill him if Natsu ended up dead before they could make the arrest. He tossed a glance to his left, toward the alley that was where everything was supposed to be.

“Well, Aquaman can control the animals in the ocean,” he tried, knowing full well it was a half baked answer. They were both getting antsy, like bloodhounds waiting for the trumpet to signal the hunt. He turned the A/C back to full cold. The unit within the dash gave a tired rumble, but held on.

Natsu rose an unimpressed eyebrow, but Gray caught the subtle glances towards the alley and the anxious leg bobbing. The car was starting to shake too from the increasing force, the leftover bottles and cans of 5-hour energy rolling too.

He mentally promised to strangle whomever used the car last. He didn’t miss the bags of fast food tossed into the back or the forgotten Taylor Swift CDs. Someone either had an open addiction to Tay Tay or was hiding the evidence of it. Either way, the car was a pig’s sty.

“And?” Natsu prompted, reaching over and turning the A/C dial back to maximum heat.

“He can drown trying to fight Aquaman.” ‘Duh’, he wanted to add, but when the captain was gone, he was in charge. Natsu had a nasty habit of playing disappear and bust the suspect alone if he wasn’t watched. The A/C was back to cold in a flash.

“Uh, _billionaire?_ He can buy a submarine, go down and torpedo Aquaman, then eat whatever sushi he likes!” He then chuckled, “Batmarine.” When he turned the A/C to heat this time, there was a low clunk in the car.

Gray switched it back to cold before the unit could even scrape up enough warm air. “Aquaman can make a creature eat the sub–including Batman!” The inside voice was forgotten, the stir crazy pair now unleashed.

“Can not! Whatever it is can just poop him out! Plus, he can kill it from the inside!” Natsu argued, turning the dial back to heat. The car’s engine shuddered but still idled softly.

“Fine! The giant squid can crack it open like a pistachio and then Aquaman can feed Batman to an orca or shark! Baddabing, he’s dead!” At this, he turned the dial ruthlessly to cold and popped the plastic out of the socket, leaving just a metal stub. _Suck it Natsu,_ he thought. _Serves him right for leaving his weights out on the floor and making me and Gajeel clean them up, he added pridefully._

Natsu looked like he swallowed something foul, his eyes nearly crossing as he puffed his cheeks, probably choking on his defense but realizing it wasn’t good enough. Gray kinda hoped he choked so he could get a good laugh. He hastily dug into his breast pocket, pulling out his smartphone.

“And don’t even think about Googling it,” he added sharply.

“…Fuck off, Gray.” Natsu decided after scowling hard enough to make a squirrel lose its fur. The man crossed his arms, sticking out his bottom lip and turned away to stare angrily out the passenger window.

“That may work on Lucy, but I still think you are a loser.”

That earned him a solid punch in the shoulder that started an all out slapping fight. Hands were flying, slapping at anything in their path. If they were to lay low, it was too late now, the gloves were off.

.

.

.

He had to have the largest fucking migraine on the continent at the moment. It was bad enough that he had to pretend he didn’t, but his two numskulls forgot they both were wearing microphones that dual transmitted right into his eardrum. It was safe to assume they weren’t listening to his relays either, judging by the constant shuffles and sounds of curses.

He could manage through their childish games: like Rock, Paper, Scissors and I spy. He could manage with the sounds of them chewing on whatever the hell they had in the car. He could even deal with their subpar debates on superheros. But this was total pain. Maybe he was hearing them all the way in the warehouse without the microphone!

“Shut up.” His own voice sounded raw from the irritation boiling through his body. He could hear them silence, the static crackling at their startled breaths. “Take this seriously.”

“Excuse me?”

Only years of experience with his old man prepared Gajeel for this. The straight face. The harsh growl in his demands. Weaker men have caved with less. Still….a theft trade bust was not the place to use these skills.

The brat looked like the damn wind could prance by and carry him away to the land of Oz or something, nothing but skin and bones with bruises as accents. Not one doubt entered his mind that this runt was high school age, a dropout most likely. Yet, his brown irises were shadowed with black eyes, his nose broken a few times too. A brawler beaten too many times by the world.

“I said shut up and take this seriously. I wanna buy your shit but I ain’t got the whole Bank of Magnolia.”

_Nice save,_ Natsu praised in his ear.

_Fuck off, peanut gallery,_ Gajeel answered in his mind. Honestly, when Makarov first assigned two upstart detectives under his command, he had his concerns. Now, it was headaches but whatever. If they messed up this bust they’ve been marking for weeks, he’d tan their hides himself.

The kid blinked, hesitation finally making an appearance on his face. Ah, so he did have some self preservation.

Time to switch tactics. Back to the basics, as he would tell the knuckleheads.

Before the runt could gather his bearings, Gajeel made his switch. He forwent diplomacy and straight into intimidation.

The kid’s coat felt like it hadn’t been washed in years, the fabric crinkling like tin foil. Something smelled nasty too, body odor soaked in skunk probably. He wished his nose would take a hike to spare him as he brought the kid near his face, flashing his teeth.

“Listen, I ain’t got all day and all the money in the world. So, I’ll make it simple. Point me to the procurer of these gizmos and I’ll leave ya be.” The way the kid shivered and his eyes shriveled in fear was nearly intoxicating.

Fear. The law of the world. At least, the underbelly of the world.

“Look man, I’m just doing what my boss says. I don’t want no trouble!” As if it would placate the situation, the kid showed his palms, empty and in surrender. Like him, Black Steel Gajeel would ever accept such a surrender.

“Do me the solid and point ‘im out for me.” The growl that came from his throat brought back memories, flashes of frightened eyes and darker days. “I don’t want a small fry like you but you’re making me late for an appointment.”

Intimidation.

Metalicana taught him this from day one, back when the path was so long and crooked. Of course, that was back then and he was different now: A changed man.

When the kid frantically gestured to his side, but subtle so that it looked like he just twitched, the glee melted away to cold self loathing in an instant. His grip relaxed, the boy’s feet touching back to concrete. Acid burned the back of his mouth. It had been months. He thought he had himself under control.

The academy didn’t beat it out of him after all.

“You need Wheaties,” he settled with, adjusting the flap of the hoodie with a gentle pat. “And an education.” Maybe some deodorant too.

“Huh?” Honestly, this kid’s brains was probably melted by the sheer stench of urine in this dump. Still, Gajeel breathed in and out. Zen. Levy always told him to find his happy place.

“Go back to school. There are better places to be than in this business, kid.” Jeez, what was he, the brat’s mentor? “Go back to school or I’ll find a way to tie a knot with yer scrawny legs.” There. Let it never be said that he wasn’t a good motivator: this kid looked ready to faint from sheer inspiration.

Out of the corner of his eye, Gajeel saw him. Tall, dark, and suspicious with his head down and eyes avoiding everyone in the warehouse. His hands fiddled within his pockets, an unlit cigarette resting on his lips. Typical asshole type.

Now, he had no tip on the big man behind the job, but this guy definitely looked the type. Plus, every few seconds, the guy looked around, nodding to a few cronies handling crates and boxes.

It had taken months to set this little raid up, even longer to learn that there was seismic activity on the streets. More drug busts, more thefts, more violence in general. Magnolia wasn’t that happy little city portrayed on the sun bleached welcome signs, but then again if the tourists fell for that little charade, shame on them.

But, this was his town, Levy’s town, his partner’s town. They’d be damned if they let some high horse punks try and run these streets outside the law. As Captain of the detective unit, Gajeel could proudly state he was going to mow these criminal’s asses like grass.

Still, his two knuckleheads were whispering on the mic now, stray words Gajeel was able to catch. “Poor guy…sad…appointment…stood up.”

Idiots. He used to flush the heads of morons like them in the toilets and then steal the lunch money they stole from somebody else. What was it called again? The social food chain?

It was then that the rays of understanding dawned on the undercover cop. He was still standing there, next to a kid about to wet his pants and break out in stress acne. The job was supposed to be inconspicuous, blending, and eventually cracking down. Yet, here he was daydreaming.

He left the pale kid behind, strolling along the stacks of crates stamped with different cities and countries, bold black ink on the wood grains. Cedar, Crocus, and even Balsam? Just where and who is pulling the strings to this size of an operation? Definitely not Captain Crunch over there. No real boss ever wore aviators from the Dollar Tree…the tag still on.

At that moment, time slowed, and their eyes met momentarily.

Levy always talked about those sappy books she tried to hide from her supervisor on the job. The ones where two main characters eyes lock and time slows, butterflies began to flutter in the stomach and a little thing called love at first sight took flight.

Well, first, this was a two take on the punk’s side. He looked at Gajeel, looked back down, and jerked his head back up to gape.

Second, the butterflies in Gajeel’s stomach were on fire and armored with iron steampunk spikes, chanting war cries as they sent the molten metal through his limbs as he felt the instinctual urge to surge into chase. They were blood thirsty, manly little butterflies.

Third, there was no love taking flight at first sight. It was Gajeel’s suspect taking flight at second glance, barreling through the warehouse like Levy did when she saw a spider.

_Chicken,_ Gajeel thought as he swore, bolting after the guy with a few seconds lag.

.

.

.

“Okay, for the final one hundred points, and the honor of skipping dish duty for a week-” Gray said, beginning his drum roll of fingers on the dashboard, “-Natsu, you must partake in the Trial of Tenacity!”

Natsu grinned brightly, punching into his palm. “All my training has led up to this moment. Witness me!”

“Witnessed,” Gray agreed, unable to stop the smirk from cracking his face.

With that, Natsu inhaled deeply, puffing his chest out and tightening his belly. Then, he began to belch. “A, B, C, D-” he paused. “E,” he faltered, licking his lips and scowling at the parking meter outside. “F, G, H, I-”

_“Idiots!”_ Gajeel’s voice crackled over the mic, “I got a _runner!”_

“Oh shi-” Gray hissed, fumbling with the door handle. He was also going to strangle whoever put a ‘purrr-fect’ sticker on the car’s handle. What were they, five and playing pretend cops n’ robbers?

Natsu was already on it, throwing his door open and lunging out with it. Too bad he didn’t account for the light pole next to the car. The noise of the door hitting the wooden pole was enough to make someone cringe, but the sound of Natsu’s forehead smacking into the window as a result was hilarious.

Gray almost peed himself as he stumbled, nearly tripping on the sidewalk at the noise. It was a shame. He expected a hollow thunk.

Disappointment aside, the solid burn of his previously cramped legs leaving trails of fire. It took about three strides to get momentum, but then Gray felt everything click.

Running wasn’t really his thing. It never was until he joined the force. To be honest, Gray missed his high school days on the winter sports teams: skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, those kinds of things.

But, he hid the trophies for the ice skating in storage. Heaven forbid his partners finding out, even if he was graceful as fuck on ice skates.

“I’m coming around the back! He’s gonna shoot out the east alleyway,” Gajeel’s voice cracked in the earpiece.

Which way was East? Which way was North? Dread filled his lungs. Never eat soggy wheat, but which direction was never!?

“Turn right at the crosswalk, icicle!”

There was Natsu, finally up and sprinting along with him. It didn’t surprise him in the slightest. 

Unlike him, Natsu was a track star before the force, a competitive force of nature that tended to be too competitive at times. Times like, but not limited to, taking the longest shower even when the hot water was exhausted.

“How’s the head?” Gray managed to say between breaths, taking his turn too soon and scraping his shoulder on the corner of the brick building. Ouch. “Still have a brain?”

“Har Har. Just keep up, will ya?” Natsu replied, far more casual than he normally would. This was suspicious until he pulled ahead in a full sprint, feet barely staying on the ground for two seconds.

Gray would have been impressed…if it wasn’t for the words Natsu was grunting into the mic as he went.

“Dude, is that the lyrics from Cops?”

Bad boys, bad boys…it was!

“Shut up! It makes me run faster!” Indeed, he was pulling ahead.

“Oi, morons! Here he comes!”

Instantly, a pair of plastic garbage bins tumbled out of the mouth of an alleyway to the right, sounds of shattering glass making a few pedestrians freeze. Then, out came the ugliest looking man Gray had seen in living memory.

White hair tangled in knots, skin leathery and eyes sunken in, an old man staggered over the rolling bins, took one look at them, and sprinted away with inhuman speed.

“What drugs is he on?” Natsu squawked, nearly tripping over the cans himself as he hurdled over them.

“Catch him and we’ll find out!” Gajeel hissed, sounding much more out of breath than they were. They warned him about skipping cardio day, but did he listen? Nooo.

Not that Natsu or himself would ever draw attention to the captain’s lack of stamina. A laugh caught in his throat. Especially around Levy.

Old Man Nasty could run! Gray had a hard time believing that he made it down two blocks before they were halfway gaining on him.

Well, he made it harder by throwing people and garbage cans in their paths. Gray had already caught up with Natsu, neck and neck as they closed in.

They may have ran over a little old lady with a cane, everything was a blur so he wouldn’t remember.

It took five blocks, but Old Man was still an old man. Gray took the lunge just as Natsu did, both tackling the guy so hard they crashed right into a wooden fruit stand.

“Ehey what are ya’ll doin’ tuh my peaches?!” someone shouted near Natsu’s ear. Of course, he was sort of busy wrangling their suspect down while Gray recited the Miranda Rights with handcuffs.

That was how Gajeel found them, knelt and covered in mashed peaches with an irate vendor screaming like an angered TV star. Maybe he was going to explode judging by the color of his face. He didn’t want to risk watching to see if he did.

It became sort of a ritual after every bust. The Captain sighed, flashed his detectives a ‘we will discuss this later’ look, and forked over a wad of twenties from his pockets to silence the vendor before his migraine became nuclear.

.

.

.

Magnolia 77th precinct wasn’t a glamorous place. The drywall was at least 49 years old, the tiles discolored from various cleaning supplies, the ceiling missing squares. It smelled like an old building, and it was. There were still secret closets from back in the prohibition era although they weren’t used for illegal booze anymore.

Magnolia 77 wasn’t pretty, it probably had some modern day code violations, but it was home. Natsu had always thought so. He crashed at his desk sometimes, ate meals from the vending machine, and shaved in the gym showers. By all accounts, that meant he lived here.

So, bringing in baddies to this ‘temple’ always gave him a sour taste in his mouth. Or, it could be the peach juice still oozing from his hair.

Erigor, the guy he and Gray suffered much pain and embarrassment to catch, seemed indifferent to the majesty of the lobby. Actually, he turned up his nose, revealing the bit of peach still lodged up there in the left bat cave. No respect for poor historical building upkeep. Criminals these days.

Gray held onto Erigor’s left arm, Natsu keeping tight on the right while Gajeel brought up the rear. It made this six legged, sideways cha cha line hard to fit through the revolving door, but with a little wiggling and sliding real smooth, they all ended up in the lobby in one piece, just peachy.

Then, when Natsu got a good look around, gravity faltered for just a moment. His mouth went dry, his heart thumping against his rib cage. For a blink, the Earth stopped turning.

Be still his heart.

There she was, in that white blouse and gray pencil skirt, a purple scarf around her neck today. Her arms were filled with folders, a briefcase slung by a strap over her shoulder.

She rose a golden eyebrow, an amused smirk crossing her glossed lips, “Wow. I see you boys got into a sticky situation.”

Damn, her quick quips never stopped taking his breath away.

Gajeel grunted, taking a moment to scoop some slime from the back of Gray’s uniform and flicked it at her playfully.

She dodged quickly, standing aside as the captain took Erigor from them and made the march up to the counter.

“This is no time for puns, Lucy…even good ones.” Gray said as he shook his arm and slopped peach guts all over the floor.

Natsu, however, pulled a half squashed peach from his trouser pocket, grinning stupidly as he offered it to her. “Sweets to the sweetie.”

Lucy, bless her, managed a small hint of amusement under her cringe. She pulled the folders close to her chest and Natsu felt unreasonable envy of the plastic and cardboard.

“Never been a fan of peaches, sorry.” She glanced down, probably to inspect that her shoes were not stepping in juice, missing Natsu’s deflated look.

“Well, I should get back to my office. Bye Gray…Natsu.” With a dainty hand, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, walking away with her head bowed and eyes to the floor in determination.

Assistant Deputy Attorney Lucy Heartfilia, someone that everyone loved to see around the precinct and every criminal learned to fear in the courts.

Once she was gone, Gray whistled lowly, placing a solemn hand on Natsu’s shoulder. “Sorry man. I think she only has love for justice and platonic relationships. You might not get anywhere with her.”

Natsu, still watching the doors where Lucy was last seen, closed his eyes and let a small smile cross his lips. With a steady hand, he slid the peach back into his pocket, ignoring the way it squelched. “Nah man. She has a lot of love to give but a lot to lose too. She’s worth waiting for,” he said softly, almost sagely as he tenderly sighed towards the doors.

Gray crinkled his nose. Over the years, Natsu was always a conundrum. One second he’s sappy and pretty damn perceptive, the next-

“Hey, wanna stick dirty socks in Elfman’s locker? He still hasn’t changed the locks~”

-the next, he was an absolute asshole.

“Sure, I got some that I’ve been perfecting for weeks.”

Hey, he never claimed to be a saint either!

.

.

.

“Another job well done, Redfox.”

Gajeel couldn’t help but let the grin cross his face as he shoved Erigor to Erza and Milliana, the best detention officers on the force, nearly laughing at Erigor’s stumble into the women’s hands. Truly, he had no beef being on the streets, little wimp.

“Milli, take him to the cells while I talk with Redfox.” Erza said evenly, in that commanding tone that was a basic being for her. Her red hair shimmered behind her as she turned, pressing the buzzer that unlocked the door to proceed further into the building. Milliana, gripping Erigor by the arm, hustled him through and disappeared behind barred windows.

“The chief and I are very impressed with your record lately. Although, we do have concerns about the two greenie detectives you cart around with you. Somehow, you get the job done despite being saddled with hooligans,” she said dismissively, eyes sharp as she took in the peach mush on the floor and still smeared on his vest.

The praise and backhanded snub at his team rolled off his back like water on a poncho, him not having the energy to get riled up in defense of his two rookies. After all, they did smear him in peach juice today.

“They were top notch in the academy, prodigies, hence achieving detective as soon as they entered the force. They are both excellent in hand to hand combat and sharp strategists. I wouldn’t expect someone outside this team to see it.” Okay, maybe the insults to his guys didn’t go over as easily as water off his back. They were his morons, after all.

Erza, despite the rumor that she’d rip out your spine if you got snippy with her, smiled easily with a shrug. “As expected of the greatest team on the force, the Captain defends his team.” She sounded strangely pleased, as if he had passed a test of hers.

When her expression slipped into something more sly, then Gajeel felt nervous and twitchy. Sly Erza was worse than angry Erza.

“So…still coming over on Tuesday? With the skillet-?”

Oh. NO. Channeling his inner five year-old, he whipped his finger to his lip and shushed her. “Yer sworn to secrecy, Red. Remember?”

At his old academy nickname for her, she smirked. “Of course, Steel,” she replied easily.

He relaxed, opting to roll his shoulders out and groan at the cracks of the joints. “Well, I’m gonna round up my clowns and head out for the day. Maybe get them some shawarma. They did get the peach bomb worse than I did.”

She nodded, already turning away with a wave. “Alright, keep your phone on. We still have to book this guy on something that will stick.”

.

.

.

“Erigor’s down. Got busted by the cops.”

A man runs his fingers through his hair. “This news is very displeasing.”

With a bored manner, he picked at his shredded cuticles, licking his lips. “Then tell Lyon I expect his shipment on time. Remind him what will happen if my calendar suffers another…setback.”

The chair he sat in creaked as he shifted, shined shoes coming up to rest on a nearby desk.

“Which reminds me…take care of the loose end before he gets…chatty.”


	2. The Secret Tuesday Society

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee, no sleep, and secrets.

“At it still?”

Lucy jerked, nearly knocking over her mug of gel pens with her wayward elbow. An unladylike snort escaped her, her hand still hovering over the stack of papers as she blinked to remove the tunnel vision.

From the doorway, she watched Levy grin with something akin to jest in her face. As if that would make her regret squinting at the fine print of every document and looking like her face was to meld with the paper.

“Justice never sleeps.” Lucy replied easily, glancing at her watch and grimacing. She missed her projected bed time…_again_. So long, eight hours of restful sleep. At least she planned on taking care of herself, even if she never really got around to it. The thought always counts.

Her friend huffed a dry laugh. “Okay, Batgirl. Justice sleeps, but you _don’t._” She stepped into the office, leaving the door open and wordlessly reminding Lucy of how late the hour was with the empty cubicles out in plain sight. Or, since Levy looked fresh and ready for a day of work, maybe the hour was early.

“Lu, don’t tell me you pulled an all-nighter. The law offices downstairs have not even opened for the day. It’s just you and the custodial staff now.” Levy informed breezily, walking forward and snagging a handful of Skittles from the glass candy dish on the desk. Taking her spoils, she then plopped into the chair on the opposite side of the desk, taking her time selecting the first to eat.

“Did I even invite you in?” Lucy mused, taking on a teasing tone as she too helped herself to candy. Sometimes, she even forgot they were there until someone just helped themselves. Her desk, while roomy and having plenty of filing space, was cluttered with folders and framed pictures of her life. It was an old piece of furniture, so heavy that nobody bothered to move it out once the building remodeled into a county office. Lucy loved it, all the way down to the mothball smell in the drawers.

Levy grinned cheekily. “Lu, we were roommates in college. You should know by now that I do as I please.”

Lucy sighed. Well, she had a point.

“So, you didn’t have a date last night since you are here, but told me you did.” Levy cast a look to the garbage can beside the desk, taking in the folded takeout boxes. “Thai again?”

Lucy, having turned back to her paperwork, shrugged. “The guy text me asking for a sample of what he was going to get after the date.”

Levy rose a brow, chewing slowly. “Ah, flirting. And? What’d you say?”

Lucy shrugged again, setting down her pen and plucking a pink highlighter from the utensil mug and carefully outlined a sentence. “Well, I would have probably flirted back…but he sent me a picture along with the text.”

“A picture? What- oh. _Oh._ Was it-?”

Lucy hummed, sliding a sheet of paper from one stack to another. “The whole thing with a winking emoji filter. So I replied with, ‘She gave you the wrong number, bro’. Haven’t got a text back since.”

Levy tutted, reaching for another handful of treats. “Sorry Lucy. Maybe you should try dating within our social circle?”

“Maybe I should stop trying to date at all. I’m just too busy.”

Levy pursed her lips at that answer, but let it drop when Lucy huffed and shoved a stack of papers across the desk.

“None of this is adding up! The evidence keeps cutting off just at the point where this person can be convicted!” She dragged fingers through her blonde hair, resting her elbows on the wood. “It’s like the puzzle is missing all the pieces!”

It was at that moment that Levy got a good look at Lucy’s face, her skin pale next to the dew covered window behind her. It was the same in college. Lucy put her whole being into things, never halfway. It kinda reminded her of someone else they both knew.

He was also looking beat down as of late.

“You need sleep.” Levy said softly, pointedly looking the ADA in the eyes. “You look like shit, and I say that lovingly.”

That earned her a playful glare and pursed lips.

“You can’t get them all.”

That earned her a full fledged scowl. Well, far be it from Levy to feel guilt about the truth. She ignored the look in favor of taking in the many shelves of law textbooks that Lucy obviously saved from school.

Lucy didn’t break the silent stalemate either. She never had to.

It took weeks for them to meet on common ground when they met in undergrad study. They had the same clubs, the same honors classes, the same morning routines. They bickered mostly, Levy’s idea of clean a far fetch from Lucy’s and Lucy’s love of body mists drove Levy mad. Still, they worked it out, and the silences were always comfortable, even after an argument.

Plus, Lucy knew if Levy ever found out _where_ she got this evidence, there would be hell to pay.

ADA’s were not permitted in the evidence lockers without supervision. That was a rule. Well…she had friends in high places, so she had her own key made: without anyone knowing. ADA’s were also not permitted to do detective work. That was also a rule. Well, she had to have all the puzzle pieces to fully close a case, or her mind would not let her rest.

So, thus began her double life of snooping around crime scenes and gathering her own evidence. Levy, as well as every one of her other friends would absolutely maim her if they knew.

There was a reason she was the best. Nobody questioned it. That was how she wanted it to stay: a smoke and veil.

Her thoughts, wayward in nature, stuttered to a stop when Levy sighed and stood, bobbing on her feet. “Come to the apartment this afternoon! I have a surprise that may just brighten your mood!”

Now that got Lucy recoiling. “Last time you ‘had a surprise’ it ended up being a double blind date where I got the creepy one.” Her stomach gave a revolted clench. That was the night she made sure to have plenty of garlic and payed for it days later.

Wrinkling her nose and brushing a hand past her face, Levy laughed rather awkwardly. “I said I was _sorry_, anyway it’ll be a _sweet_ surprise. You’ll love it!” She sounded even less convincing than before with her forced, light laughing.

“I feel even less enthused for this ‘surprise’” Lucy deadpanned, dragging yet another stack towards her with a hook of her wrist.

“Be there or I’ll get Erza involved.”

The threat was unmistakable, even for Levy’s cheery peep.

Erza was by far the one person Lucy never wanted to cross, lest it be her deathbed. Not that her friend would hurt her, but Erza could be very forcefully convincing if need be. Lucy could recall the time that Gray and Natsu nearly fainted in the courts when Erza had to manhandle a suspect into submission after a conviction riot. That man would never again be able to turn his neck like he used to.

“Why pull out your highest trump card to play?” She asked absently, looking to her desk again and refusing to admit that Levy had beaten her this argument.

Her friend beamed, not quite gloating but Lucy still felt it all the same. “Because I’m your friend.”

_‘Because I’m your friend’._ Lucy smiled slightly, making sure the burn in her eyes didn’t turn into tears. There were few things that they said to each other during college that would really mean as much as those words.

When Levy had a final in Italian III, Lucy stayed up all night helping quiz her. When Levy asked why, Lucy answered, _‘because I’m your friend. French is similar to Italian anyway’._

When Lucy got lost after an interview in the next town over, Levy came to get her and take her to a restaurant to celebrate. When thanked, Levy just shrugged and said,_ ‘I will always come to get you, because I’m your friend.’_

The silence stretched on in which Lucy hovered her pen over printed words and Levy picked at her cuticles. Lucy read over once sentence, then the next, forgot the last sentence so she went back to read it again. The process repeated over when she didn’t gather anything from the re-read sentence.

“Well-” Levy groaned suddenly, standing and wincing at the creak of her knees, “-I best be going. Sensei Gildarts hates it when his students are late.”

Lucy managed to glance up and smile. “Well, don’t be late then!”

That earned her a playful scowl as Levy shouldered her purse and stepped to the door. “Who are you to talk about not being late? I know about your theatrical late entrances at the courts.”

“I stopped doing that…mostly-”

“Uh huh, just don’t be late coming over tonight. I won’t forgive you.” Levy said, giving the ‘I got my eyes on you’ gesture before she slipped away. Lucy listened as her footsteps faded down the hall before releasing a sigh. Well that was something that wouldn’t go away if she ignored it.

That was exactly why Levy dropped by the office. Lucy was sure of it now. It wasn’t a text, so Lucy couldn’t pretend she didn’t get it or forgot to open it.

They had their trials and tribulations in college and now they knew each other like open books.

It wasn’t like Lucy actively avoided hanging out with her friends. It was just work demanded her full attention, and with her extra curricular evidence gathering the hours of the day dwindled to the minutes.

It took a lot of effort to not get caught at crime scenes, or while she raided the evidence lockers of the precincts. It also helped that she was friends with almost all the chiefs…or was a fierce fight for the rest.

Lucy Heartfilia always got her case and Lucy Heartfilia always got her desired ruling.

Someone opened the door to the law office, the creaking of the aged brass a sign that the work day had begun for a few. Chatter echoed through the once silent rooms and Lucy found that her peace and quiet was now over.

With a sigh, she deposited the pen back into the cup, gathering her papers like so many times before and shoving them into her briefcase. How could she get any work done when there was gossiping going around and her body feeling like it was going to drop like a fly?

.

.

.

Magnolia had some nice buildings and Magnolia had some pretty decrepit ones. The latter was becoming few and far between since the recently elected mayor decided that historic didn’t mean the old stays old. Renovations were going on all over town, construction companies never having so many jobs like they did now.

Her dojo, however, was one of the least important renovations, being in an older, less populated part of Magnolia. No tourists dared come this way unless they were lost, so this wasn’t of importance.

But, to Levy, it was one of the most important.

The windows were cracked or poorly patched, the wood holding them in rotting away with years of water damage. Concrete stairs were stained and chipped, a rusted handrail on its last legs alongside it. What really stood out to Levy though was the ancient sign board hovering over the entrance, discolored but still proudly displaying the black letters spelling ‘Clive Doj0’.

Honestly, it would cost him .69 jewel, a screwdriver, and a quick trip on a ladder to fix that last letter. Yet, he always bragged that it added character.

As if setting up a dojo in an abandoned ballet school didn’t add enough character.

As her fingers trailed up the railing, not close enough to scrape her palms along it but close to feel the iron chill, Levy recalled climbing the stairs when she was twelve, her legs barely long enough to stretch over the stairs. This was back when her parents mistook this for a real ballet school and had dropped her off with a check to cover a few lessons.

Lost in her memories with a wistful smile, Levy shouldered the door open, wrinkling her nose at the stench of must that greeted her. The first floor was boarded up, a pitiful wall of flimsy lumber haphazardly nailed up to form a wall over the hallway that was once dressing rooms. Before it rested a battered table, a tacky water fountain bubbling away atop it with vases of lucky bamboo.

Nailed to the wall were picture frames, so many memories of Sensei Clive and his pilgrimage across the world on display. That man had to have seen everything the world offered, yet he stayed in Magnolia now. She hadn’t a clue why.

Levy took the wooden stairs two at a time, regulating her breathing as she reached the second floor and turned to the first door on her right. Through the frosted glass, she saw figures moving beyond.

Ah, so she was just in time.

Careful not to make a disturbance, she wiggled the door open, peeking in on the early morning lesson Sensei Clive liked to host before kids went off to school. Backpacks littered the walls, new and old articles of clothing abandoned temporarily as a mass of kids in gi worked through their exercises.

Before them, garbed in a white gi, stood Sensei Clive, walking them through every step of the way with a beam on his face. That man seriously loved to teach, no matter the hour of the day. It was astonishing.

Smiling to herself, Levy walked all the way to the windows looking out on the street below. In the corner, a little nook rested. Once an old janitor’s closet before the door was removed and the walls replaced, now six tan and rusted lockers resided. Levy used to count the dents and chips in the metal, back when she was younger and watching older students train felt awkward to her. 5 dents the size of fists, 21 the size of coins, and so many scratches that she never had a hope to calculate.

Gildarts had to have gotten them from a school, for there were signs of abuse and graffiti etched in…some from students of the dojo. The words ‘Gajeel sux’ were carved into the farthest locker. Below it, a dragon magnet. Below that, ‘Gray sux even more’.

Oh, that Natsu.

Her fingers reached for her locker, the third, with a little purple combination lock. It was the same lock she used from high school, the combination as familiar to her as her own birthday. With three twists, she had it unlocked, the locker open to reveal her gray gi and sash.

By the time she slid into it, she heard Gildart’s dismissal, the shuffling of feet as the class moved to gather their things and move to the bathrooms to change. In about five minutes, her lesson would begin.

She stepped out of the cove, bare feet chilled on the mats after she took her socks off. Seeing some stragglers talking with Sensei, Levy rolled her shoulders and selected a corner to start stretching, keeping an eye on the clock in the front of the room. Her lessons varied in times but today she could only stay for 45 minutes before heading out to work.

As if she projected her thoughts, Gildarts glanced her way, flashed a smile, and started ushering the last of the class out before shutting the door. Then he turned to her, hands on his hips.

“Well then. You ready to show me how much you’ve been practicing?” He laughed as he said it, excited as ever to share his knowledge with others. He shifted into a sparring pose, hands up and eyes bright.

Levy smiled, shaking her arms before stepping up onto the mats and mirroring his pose. “I’ll show you, Sensei. I’ll throttle you.”

He blinked. Then he threw his head back and laughed. It was a full belly laugh, one of pure amusement. He followed it with a shake of his head. “You are 30 years too young to be smack talking, missy.” He shifted his knees apart, an attack position. Levy only had a few seconds before he advanced, eyeing her for an opening.

The lesson lasted 40 minutes. Levy made sure to thank her sensei before rushing out and taking the stairs two at a time despite her burning muscles. He had thoroughly kicked her ass, making her meet the mats face first or on her back. She still had a lot to learn.

But her right hook has improved. He gave her that.

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.

Lucy didn’t get past the main hall of her building before her phone buzzed and chimed. With a sigh of Levy’s name, she paused and dug into her purse for the device, pulling it out. To her surprise, it was Natsu, not Levy, that had text her so early in the morning. Didn’t he know it was rude to text before 8am?
    
    
      _
    “Hey lucy, gray was supposed to get coffee today but he’s being an ass and not answering. Since I knoow you pulled an allnighter at your office (btw you shouldn’t do that) can you go by d&d and get coffee for dajeel, erza, and most importantly me? I’ll owe you big time. Plzzzzzzzzz?”_
    

Well…shit. Lucy sighed, feeling fatigued already now that she was out of the office. But, her friends needed caffeine for whatever can of whoop-ass they were opening today. She knew for a fact that Erza was twice as prickly before her first cup. Gajeel and Natsu were going to end up dead if she didn’t get any. Gray, unfortunately for him if she found out he ditched, would be dead soon.

Lucy knew what to do. Besides criticize her friend’s awful texting.
    
    
      _
    “K. What do ya’ll want…besides a dictionary?”_
    

She secured her purse strap, keeping the phone in her free hand and her briefcase in the other. Her morning just got a heck of a lot longer, as well as her daily commute. Taking her time down the stone stairs that lead to the sidewalk, Lucy rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, careful of her makeup.

Time to start walking.
    
    
      _
    “Awww don’t be liek that. Expressino for gajeel and caramel macchiato for erza. For me, coffee as black as my soul and made of nightmares.”_
    

Her left eye twitched. Her lips pursed. That idiot. She sighed and her fingers automatically moved before she thought.
    
    
      _
    “So a coconut latte with extra cream and half shot of espresso. Got it.”_
    

It took a second for him to reply.
    
    
      _
    “ :D <3 “_
    

Idiot. He was never able to stomach black coffee ever since he drank that day old pot of coffee at the precinct. Nobody was sure if he was going to die from it or die because of it. He was excitable one moment and vomiting all over himself the next. Erza nearly committed murder that day. Lucy had to let him curl up in her office, moaning and whining that Erza was going to find him and gut him like a fish. Not too far off from the truth since the redhead was texting her asking if she had seen him that day.

“I guess I’m getting coffee too.” Lucy said to herself, turning and walking down the street away from her direction of home. She had a few blocks to walk to the shop, and then more to the east for the precinct.

As she walked, she watched the shops slowly start to open. The smell of doughnuts and exhaust filled the air.

Speaking of, she had some leftover doughnuts waiting for her at home. She wondered if they were still good and if she would feel like eating them once she made it home. They were glazed so she had to warm them up first. Ohhh, hot, melty, doughnuts.

She loved hot doughnuts. It was something she got from her mother. On Saturdays, they both got up early and pretended to be ninjas and sneak out as to not wake up her father. As a child, it was thrilling secrecy. Something to share with her mother and her alone. They would take the car, trying to contain giggles as they escaped. Then, they went to the local doughnut shop right as it opened and buy the freshest doughnuts. Sometimes they got a dozen and others just three or four. If it was the latter, they always ate the evidence before getting home. A little secret covered in gooey glaze.

Of course her father always knew, but pretended to be in the dark about it.

The tradition died with her mother as did her father’s sense of indulgence in childish dreams. A lot of traditions died that day.

Sewing on rainy Sundays stopped, all of her Mama’s supplies put away. The tea set that was a wedding present from her late grandparents that was the pinnacle of their tea parties was something she saved and had in storage. Her Papa tried to shatter them. He got one of the saucers, so now she had a tea cup on her desk that had long lost its companion.

She missed a lot of things of the past. But, she thought as she smiled at the flower shop owner that was setting out peonies, she was happy with the life she has now. She had many friends, an exciting career, a roof over her head too.

If only her Papa could find what she had.

Happiness? Content? He sorely needed humility.

Lucy paused at the final crosswalk, the only one that always seemed to be red for pedestrians. Across the street, she could see the coffee shop nestled between a laundromat and a thai restaurant.

Drip Drop Cafe and Bakery, or D&D for short.

Small. Quaint. Cheap rent. Lucy could relate.

Once the light turned red and her walk signal illuminated, Lucy quickly made her way across the street, casting one passing glance into the corner laundromat and spying one little old lady folding her sheets.

D&D was identifiable by the tiny hanging sign with blue painted words, the glass tinted so one could not really see in the shop until the door opened. Lucy recalled when it first opened and the rising sun blinded everyone in the early morning hours. She had to remember to pack her sunglasses just to stop by for a coffee and a doughnut until Laki donated some tint for the windows. Having the owner of a contracting company as a customer had its perks for D&D.

As she placed her hand on the door, fixing her wayward hair as the wind picked up, Lucy figured she would go for a cinnamon bun frap.

She pushed open the door, listening to the bell chime with a smile and a greeting on the tip of her tongue. Then she paused, witnessing Juvia, the owner, flush vibrant red as she slapped her hands over her mouth. Leaning across the counter and nearly nose-to-nose with her, was Gray Fullbuster. His hand was frozen in the action of pushing hair behind Juvia’s ear, looking much like a deer caught in the leadlights.

It was hard to miss exactly what she walked into on this fine Tuesday morning, with the precinct ordering coffee through her because Gray ‘disappeared’. Plus, wooing from Gray involved secrecy from his housemates and awkward proximity. He was so putting on the moves…and Lucy had the pure, intoxicating power of submerging him in shit creek for it.

However, she was a lady and ladies took the high road to any blackmail opportunity. Just this once. So, with all the strength and dignity she could muster, she slowly starts to back out of the door. “Uh, I’m just gonna-”

“Wait! Don’t go Lucy!” Juvia called, reaching out as if she could hold her arm and stop her. “Juvia needs your money!”

As soon as the words left her mouth, horror struck her paling face as she clasped her hands over her mouth a second time. “That sounded bad! Please buy some coffee and fund Juvia’s business!”

At that, Gray clenched his eyes closed as a look of pain came over him. Ah, looks like ol’ Romeo remembered why he was supposed to be here in the first place, not necking the barista. Necking the barista that was Gajeel’s cousin. Not necking Gajeel’s cousin and instead getting Gajeel’s coffee. Whoops.

Screw being a lady. Lucy laughed, sidling in the door feeling like a cat that got the cream. Watching Gray scowl and pull away from the counter, she sauntered up to the glass case of scones, leaning her weight on her elbow.

“Gajeel wanted an espresso, caramel macchiato for Erza, coconut latte with extra cream and half shot of espresso for Natsu… Do you still have that monthly special cinnamon bun frap?”

When Juvia nodded with a smile, already knowing the orders by heart and was already halfway finishing Gajeel’s, Lucy grinned back. “I’ll have that.”

As Juvia moved away to quickly make the orders, Lucy felt the weight of Gray’s glare on her. “Not a word.” he hisses, avoiding her eyes with a flush as she turned to look at him.

She smirked. “Never. Snitches get stitches.”

Gray had the mind to look horrified.

She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes. “It’s a saying, Gray. Relax. My lips are sealed. But for real, Gajeel will grind your bones to dust and use it as flour if you upset her. Hell, if he finds out you had pervy thoughts about her-!”

Gray shushed her quickly, cringing. “I would never, but I don’t need you to remind me of my imminent and painful future demise, thanks.”

“More like disembowelment and castration.” She supplied helpfully.

He winced more. “Thank you. Not making it better.”

“Espresso, caramel macchiato, coconut latte with all the fixin’s, and a cinnamon bun frap.” Juvia called lightly, approaching the counter with the full drink carrier. But, it was Gray who held out a card for payment, smiling easily at both girl’s surprised expression.

“It was me that was originally sent for coffee. At least let me pay.” he reasoned lightly, winking at Juvia and making her squeak and avert her eyes.

Lucy grimaced, but took the coffee anyway and turned way as fast as her body and the hot liquids would allow. “Ugh, just remember to come up for air, kiddos.”

She ignored Gray’s sputters, but Juvia’s embarrassed giggles and the, “Have a great day, Love Rival” was something she couldn’t ignore.

“Juvia, it’s been like five years since I met Gray and I still have negative one hundred percent wish to date him, at all.”

The wicked teasing gleam still shone in the barista’s eyes. “So negative equals a positive?”

Gray groaned and Lucy wished she could facepalm but she needed her free hand to hold the door open for a couple trying to enter the shop. “That’s still not how it works!”

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.

What on Earth would be a perfect Tuesday night for Lucy? Well, there was sitting at home in her pajamas, snuggled in her couch with nothing but movies to watch and snacks to eat. There was also sitting at home and working on her novel.

Mostly, she wanted to stay home.

Yet, here she was, still groggy from the nap on the couch while still in her work clothes. It wasn’t surprising to her that she never made it to her bed before crashing but she was still bitter on the fact that she never got her shoes off in the process.

Anyway, here she was, dressed up and loathing the fact that Levy had the brass balls to threaten her with Erza. Any sort of surprise that required the threat of Erza was fishy. Any surprise from Levy was to be taken with caution.

The blind date Levy had set her up with had, by far, been one of the worst in her dating history. A shiver caressed Lucy’s spine.

All dressed up and standing before Levy’s apartment door, Lucy could hear noises beyond the wood. Just what did her friend have in store tonight? She glanced at her phone once more, reading the text ‘Don’t be late or I’ll send Erza over’.

She was a witch. A conniving, wicked witch with the apartment that was smelling more and more like…blueberries?

Lucy took a deeper sniff, blinking at the fact that yes, the air was filled with the smell of berries galore. What kind of evil plot involved blueberries? Lucy didn’t have the chance to think on it.

The door swung open, the brightness inside contrasting with the dim hallway lamps and making her squint. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t see, however. The shortness of the figure before her gave her a clue.

“Right on time! We’ve been waiting.” Levy greeted lightly, ushering Lucy in with more force than needed and taking the time to suspiciously glance around the hall before slamming the door hard enough to make Lucy nearly bite her tongue.

Lucy staggered inside, barely able to kick her shoes off before Levy was pushing her deeper inside, past the sitting room and all the way into the kitchen.

It was at that moment that Lucy knew she probably fell into a wormhole somewhere enroute to the apartment. That or literally walked her way into the Twilight Zone without paying attention.

“Welcome!” Erza greeted regaly with a knife and fork in her hands, a plate full of syrup and fruit piled before her. “I feared that I would have to fetch you if you took much longer to get here.”

She had a napkin tucked into her shirt, a second one neatly folded on her lap. But Lucy saw it: The hunger in the woman’s eyes as she turned to the plate before her. “Now we can begin.”

Levy brushed past her, taking her own seat next to Erza and tucking a napkin on her lap as well before dragging a bowl of melted fudge closer.

The part that really set this strange occurance apart was the sight of the man with wild black hair tamed into a ponytail leaning over a skillet with a spatula, his eyes narrowed at her as if she personally offended him by her presence.

Gajeel, wearing a red ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron, was slaving over Levy’s stove with a powdered sugar handprint right on his-

Lucy nearly peed herself laughing, clutching the door frame in a desperate attempt to stay upright. Tears came to her eyes, air so hard to breathe in because Gajeel was wearing an apron and had a very small and defined handprint on his ass. Gajeel was cooking.

“Oi, dont choke.” he said in his gruff manner, flipping what appeared to be really flat pancakes on the cast iron. “You breathe one word of this to the morons and I’ll have to arrest you.”

“Gaj-” Lucy inhaled and immediately broke into giggles again. “He-” More giggles came and she couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard. She missed it.

“You are now a part of Crepe Tuesdays.” Levy said, scooping a heap of crepes onto her plate before reaching for peaches.

“Secrecy is required.” Erza added, nibbling on a strawberry. “Nobody else but us know of Gajeel’s secret gift.”

“Gift?” Gajeel barked, picking up the skillet and dumping out three fresh crepes onto a plate. “Cooking ain’t a gift. It’s a life skill.”

“I think Erza was referring to your ‘crepe magic’, Gajeel.” Levy piped up with a snicker.

At last, Lucy found her voice. “Well, I like crepes better than creeps.” She took Gajeel’s offered plate, humming at the warm smell of vanilla.

“That was one time!” Levy said hotly, stabbing her fork down with a little too much force. “I said I was sorry!”

“Honestly I wanna hear this story from bunny girl’s perspective. You have a way of telling things to your favor.” Gajeel interrupted as he poured more batter out.

“Shut up!” She flung a blueberry at the back of his head.

“I do have one question.” Lucy said, sitting down an spooning some apples onto her plate. “Why crepe Tuesdays?”

Crepes are a Tuesday thing, duh.” Levy answered simply, taking a bite of her concoction and humming. “So accept your fate and eat crepes!”

Of course, silly her. It wasn’t wise to escape now, not when she had fresh crepes to eat.

Being inducted into a crepe eating society on a Tuesday evening wasn’t something Lucy ever planned on in her life, but she would never look a gift horse in the mouth. Taking her fork up, Lucy dug into her crepe, not questioning it again. She always liked a good fate story after all.

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.

.

Natsu’s arm trembled as he lifted it to block a well placed kick at his head. There was intense power behind it, enough to give him a concussion if he had failed to block in time. The shin struck between the pads, making contact with his skin and jolting a flash of pain through his mind.

Air breezed past his lips, his back muscles tensing for a second before he reacted. Grasping the ankle, Natsu flashed a cocky grin before he lifted the leg above his head with intent to unbalance his opponent.

Unfortunately, his opponent had about 15 years more experience than he.

With a bark of laughter, the man shifted, kicking out with his other leg as he warped backwards. He landed on his hands just as his foot was inches from Natsu’s face. There was no choice. Natsu let go of the ankle to block what could be a painful broken nose.

His sensei grunted as he balanced in a handstand before coiling to land on his feet. His normally slicked back coppery hair was out of place and frazzled, eyes glittering with delight as he smirked.

Natsu tensed in alarm, forgetting almost everything he was supposed to be doing as his sensei lunged quicker than a tiger on the hunt.

_I’m open._ Natsu thought as he stayed frozen, watching as if having an out of body experience, _He sees a weakness!_

It was too late. With a viper-quick swipe of a leg to his knees, Natsu was flat on his back and staring at the ceiling. Everything burned but the mat was cold on his bare, heated back.

_Damn you, Gildarts! I almost had you!_

Gildarts snorted, clearly knowing his student’s thoughts as he leaned over to ruffle Natsu’s hair. “Time out, runt. You gotta hydrate.” he teased before offering his hand.

Pride dented, Natsu accepted the help up off the mat, cracking his neck as they both moved to the bench where their water bottles waited. Both men settled down on the old wooden bench, leaning back and sipping slowly. Gildarts draped a towel around his shoulders, occasionally swiping sweat that beaded on his face.

The silence spoke the most, ever since Natsu was a teen. It was the understanding between them, the calm acceptance that he had no time for outside the dojo.

“You’ve gotten flabby. Natsu, are you skipping your morning exercises?” Gildarts asked after a long yawn.

Natsu, halfway in the process of gulping down water, choked and dribbled water down his front and out of his nose. With a grimace, he accepted the second towel Gildarts offered. Of course he caught on. Today’s sparring was lackluster. It always did when Natsu had too much on his mind. It took fists and pain to bring everything together.

“You know, the man that is out of practice, takes the losses.” Gildarts said, setting down his bottle and resting his elbows on the back of the bench.

Natsu rolled his eyes, dropping the white towel on his lap. Another one of his old sayings again? “Where did you get that philosophy? A fortune cookie?” he said with no real heat behind it.

Gildarts laughed. A deep, throaty laugh that warmed Natsu just a little.

“You’re witty when you wanna be, boy.” He snorted again, glancing to Natsu out of the corner of his eye. “So, where did the Shakespeare quote book come from?” he asked slyly.

Natsu’s spine snapped taunt, all thoughts freezing as his eyes shoot to his bag and the spine of the book that traitorously peeked out of the zipper. Aw shit. “I-uh-”.

Gildart slapped him on the back, eyes glittering again with that feral look. There was blood in the water now and he was on the hunt. He watched Natsu’s shoulders tense as the younger man looked for a way out of the impending interrogation, and Gildarts lived for it. He grinned lecherously, “Is it a girl?”

The flash of panic in Natsu’s expression, only lasting half a second, but it was a clear answer.

“So it is a girl! Haha ‘bout time!”

Carefully, Natsu closed his eyes and exhaled, measuring his next inhale just as carefully. Find the zen. Erza’s weird seminars on CD’s played in his mind, the voices of faceless life coaches telling him to find peace and face this head on. It wasn’t like he actively listened to them like Erza, but after hearing them constantly in the office, he had disk one thru five memorized.

“I’m working on it, but yes.” he answered thinly.

Gildarts hummed, turning his head in interest. “Oh? Who is she? Can she handle you? Is she aware that you sleep talk? Can she wrangle you when you get hot blooded? Does she got a nice bod?” He motioned both hands at his chest with a wink and a dirty cackle.

Natsu slugged him, perhaps more messily than intended but he had to make a point.

Gildarts caught his fist easily, his perverted grin widening. “She d_ooo_.” he drawls.

It pressed all the right buttons. Natsu bound to his feet, fist clenched and eyes sparking like flint on steel. “Alright pervy old man! You’re asking for it!”

Laughing brightly, Gildarts shed his towel and stood, walking slowly to the mat again as he watched Natsu bobbing on his feet now. _Ah,_ he thought as he prepared to start the spar again,_ that is more like the little runt I know._

Natsu didn’t wait for him to count down. He lurched forward, and Gildarts dodged a punch with ease.His pupil went in for another, and Gildarts dodged that too..At first, Gildarts really thought Natsu wanted to clock him, but then Natsu opened his mouth.

“Her name’s Lucy. She’s the new ADA here.” Natsu swung wide and Gildarts seized the chance to prod at unprotected muscle. Natsu wheezed as the strike robbed him of the air in his lungs, stepping away to catch it again.

“S-She’s…amazing. Real smart and able to put puzzles together in the courtroom. She smiles real pretty too.”

Gildarts kicked out, Natsu ducking as if he saw it coming.

“When she laughs, I feel like I ate too much. But, I can tell she’s been hurt. It’s in her eyes, you know? That’s why. The quotes make her smile, even just a little.”

Gildarts stared, blinking stupidly at the boy that always clammed up on his tender emotions in the past. Now, he saw raw passion for this ‘Lucy’. Passion that he was trying to hide most of the time.

“Kiss her then.” Gildarts suggested, blocking another strike.

Natsu’s face turned crimson. “H-Hell no! She’d floor me!”

“Tell her then.” He tried again.

Natsu puckered his face like he sucked a lemon. “No way. I don’t do that mushy confession shit Gildarts.”

“Then you’re a pansy.” Gildarts teased, dodging the violent series of hits Natsu responded with. “A p_aaa_nsy~”.

This earned him a few aggressive punches to the block pads but otherwise, Gildarts thanked his lucky stars that Natsu let him get away with the teasing. The runt really had grown up.

“So, you staying out of trouble?” He changed the subject, knowing Natsu didn’t want to brag about his unrequited beau t a pervert like him the whole time. Plus, it wasn’t what was bothering him.

Natsu snorted, catching a kick and shoving the leg away in the next second. His bangs clung to his forehead, his breathing leveled as he prowled around in a circle, looking for a break in defense.

“I’m not that same kid from juvie anymore.” he reasoned quietly, pouting slightly when Gildarts showed no break in his guard. “The straight and narrow, or else I got a lot of people in line to kick my ass.”

At that, the older man smiled slightly.

“I’m glad to hear it.” He truly was. The kid deserved so much more than the hell he was dragged out of. He straightened, making a show of looking to the clock. “Well, I think I’m gonna call it for tonight. I wanna go home and dot on my darling daughter.”

Natsu relaxed too, but his nose wrinkled. “Oh yeah, Cana is just _darling,_ isn’t she?”

Gildarts ignored the sarcasm, stepping off the mat to grasp his towel again. “Same time next week?”

His pupil didn’t stop shuffling through his bag for a clean shirt. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

Turning to watch, Gildarts payed attention to the still present stiffness of Natsu’s shoulders, the shadow of fatigue lingering over him. The man wasn’t sleeping right. It was present in the way he moved, the way his eyes glazed, and the way he was his less chipper self.

When he met Natsu some years ago, there was that darkness lurking in the boy. The anger, the regret, and mostly the loneliness had mulched up much of what the boy could have been. The world showed him no mercy in the hand he was dealt, and it forged the jaded diamond of a kid that was in and out of juvie.

Honestly, at first Gildarts wanted nothing to do with him. He was to bring nothing but trouble to him and his daughter. When Makarov approached him with a favor to take the boy as a foster, he turned him down flat. The kid was too much trouble.

Then, old Makarov went to Igneel.

It was a below the belt hit to go to his boxing rival, but Gildarts didn’t blame the old coot. Igneel turned out to be a far better influence than he ever could. Natsu’s transformation was almost like magic. He laughed more, smiled more, played pranks and even grew to love those around him. The angry little boy became a man that always had a trick up his sleeves.

When Igneel adopted Natsu, Gildarts was sure that everything would be alright, that happiness had been achieved. They even came to the dojo for regular matches, Igneel teaching the kid boxing and martial arts.

Until, Igneel had that accident when Natsu was eighteen.

Igneel was out on his bike and it was dark. Some drunk driver came around and-

The loss still was heavy, Gildarts could tell. If he felt it, God knows Natsu shouldered it too.

And then there was-

_Ah._

“It’s been three months.”

Natsu stiffened, pausing as he unwrapped his hands. His face remained impassive, his emotions carefully packed down again. After a second, he continued, packing his bag a little quicker than before. He pulled on a shirt and quickly shoved his boxing gloves in the bag, not looking up from his task.

“Natsu.” Gildarts tried softly.

Natsu whirled around sharply, eyes betraying every feeling he was trying to hide. “If you think I’m grieving or something, you are _wrong._ We weren’t close. We just survived together.” he snapped, turning back and zipping his bag closed.

Gildarts sighed tiredly, already regretting bringing the subject up but knowing it was too late to back out and leave it alone. “You were biological brothers. His death must of had some impact-?”

Natsu had none of it. He shouldered the bag strap, cracking his shoulders and glaring at the floor with all the bottled up anger. “He was arrested when I was seven. He got life in prison for what he did: to me and the others. If I felt something, it would be justice.”

But, to Gildarts surprise, Natsu let out a long sigh before meeting his gaze and smiling in exhaustion. “Anyway, I gotta catch up on The Arrow so I’ll see you next time, Pops.” He turned with a wave, walking for the exit just as quickly as he packed.

There was sorrow as Gildarts watched the door close and heard the footsteps down the creaky stairs. Already, the warmth of that kid’s presence was fading. He really was Igneel’s boy, bringing the same energy anywhere he went.

With a shake of his head, Gildarts moved to close up, muttering “That kid’s gonna pop at the wrong moment one of these days.”

.

.

.

Natsu kept his brisk pace down the sidewalk, pulling up his hood and adjusting his headphones over his ears. His mind buzzed, the little voice of his conscience pestering him with every step he took.

Gildarts was only trying to help. Every one of his friends were. Gajeel and Gray, they gave him space when he needed it. Laxus made sure he wasn’t going space cadet at his desk. Lucy kept his mind on the future, reminding him that whatever he was in the past wasn’t who he was now.

A face flashed across his mind, raven hair and a sad smile stained his thoughts. Natsu grit his teeth, barely holding back a snarl of irritation. Zeref, his older brother, someone who was supposed to be family.

He hadn’t seen him since that day he was convicted, sentenced to a life in Plutogrim Penitentiary. He had watched numbly as they cuffed him and dragged him out of the courtroom, his voice calm as he yelled, “No matter where you go, I will always be able to find you, precious brother.’

It scared Natsu at seven, and it scared him as a full grown adult.

Everytime a letter addressed to him in that sickenly familiar script appeared in the mail, Natsu took great pleasure in setting it ablaze. To watch the words burn made him feel powerful, like he was in charge of his life now. Sometimes there were photographs and he loved to watch them burn too.

Then, that one letter arrived three months ago, his name stamped on the envelope, not written. He recalled how his fingers trembled as he opened the letter, numb as he read the contents.

Zeref…was dead. Killed in a cell block riot.

He didn’t remember crying, or screaming. Gray and Gajeel came in just in time to see him put his hand through the wall.

It took one look at the letter for them to understand.

Now, the hole was fixed, a decent sized punching bag in the garage for all three of them to vent on. Fighting was part of their lives, so it payed to stay fit.

He didn’t know why he lost it that day. Maybe it was rage that he never fully paid for his crimes? Maybe it was sorrow for the last connection with his biological family. Maybe he even still loved his brother after all the hell he was put through.

It never erased the wrongness of their crimes. The Dragneel brothers. They started at burglary…and grew into arson and everything else on the wrong side of the law.

His nails dug into his palm. Once Zeref was removed, his life turned around. It all turned around. Even after Igneel passed, Natsu still had family in his friends.

So…why did it still hurt?

Natsu knew he still felt spite at his older sibling, the chance to prove that Zeref was always wrong about him. He wanted his brother to know he wasn’t a waste, or a monster, and that he could be something great. Now, he’d never have that since Zeref was gone. Maybe that was all there was.

He turned down the one way street to his shared house, noticing the kitchen and living room lights on. Two cars sat in the driveway, a blue Ford Focus and a silver Nissan Titan.

So both of them were home already. Natsu breathes in.

He stepped up onto the porch, thankful that one of them remembered to leave the light on so he could see the keyholes. With an exhale, Natsu felt the relief of being _home_ settle in his chest, and his hand fell to the doorknob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I finally did it. I wrote a thing. 15 pages. It took forever and I’m tired of looking at it. I also figured out why I hated it for the longest time: I accidentally wrote most of it in present tense!


	3. Too Much of a Bad Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where adult kids can be kids,  
Gajeel forgets something,  
and a cloak and dagger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? I’ve been busy planning my wedding and taking care of some elderly family members. I didn’t have much time to write…or the will to. 
> 
> Recently, my brother had an accident and he didn’t make it. I’ve been kinda lost for a bit, hence me going through some old drafts and trying to pick up writing again. Here’s to trying.
> 
> Be warned, there is some heavy adult themes in this chapter: Drug use, sexual implications, classic CSI. We can’t have all sunshine and rainbows in this M-77 ride!

“Have you ever, you know, tried to be anything more than an over-sized child?”

Gray leaned back slightly in the booth, swallowing down his pizza with a few chugs of soda. Cheese strings hung from his lips, swinging like willow branches in the wind.

“Uh, no?” he said, slurping them up and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He didn’t mind the stains, making a mental note to dump half a bottle of stain remover into the laundry. “Since when did this make you feel childish?”

The man sighed, glancing over to the giant mouse currently dancing with a toothy five year old wearing a party hat. Or, more like some guy in a mouse costume, the mascot of the place.

“Chuckie Cheese. Really Gray? How much longer are we going to pretend like we are the same old kids?”

Gray scowled, laying the pizza on the pastel plate and leaned in close, brow twitching. “Oh? Is that so? Then why are you holding on to all those tickets, Lyon? Give’em to me.”

Lyon paled, scrambling to grab the pile of pink tickets from Gray’s seeking hands, nearly leaping from the booth. “Wait-let’s not get hasty! I earned these.”

“Come on, give the over-sized child what he wants.” Gray teased lightly, making a show of reaching further and laughing when Lyon slapped his hands away.

“Only you are the over-sized child here. Ultear would back me up on this!” Lyon laughed, rolling the tickets around his wrist. He could never be too careful with Gray. He was nosy as hell and loved to ‘borrow’ stuff. If he got his grubby hands on these tickets, Lyon could kiss his Captain Planet power ring set goodbye. “Too bad she didn’t come, huh?”

Gray rolled his eyes, grabbing another slice of pizza instead and digging in. “Yeah, something about a meeting in the capital. Jeez, she could have just said she didn’t want to come.”

“Yeah, well being a senator makes her too busy for her brothers nowadays. You know she would have kicked your ass in skee ball.” Lyon said, taking another slice for himself.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Gray sighed. “She’s always had a stick up her ass. I don’t know how her and Ur were related.”

Lyon blinked at the name, glancing up to stare at Gray for a second before returning his attention to the pepperonis. “But she’s always treated us like her brothers, even after Ur passed.”

Gray frowned, his mood turning somber. “On second thought, I can see the relation.”

Lyon licked his lips, glancing down to the chipped wooden table with the faded logo before speaking again. “Speaking of Ultear, I have some good news to share, although she will hear about it from my texts…I’ve almost got enough money to do it! Meredy and I counted our assets just the other day.”

Gray glanced up, broken from the somber mood in a heartbeat, his grin wide. “Finally going to be a big boy and get a real job?”

Lyon pouted, flicking pizza crust at Gray, unsurprised when the man caught it and ate it in less than five seconds. After all, it was Gray that said even adopted siblings shared the cooties. Plus, with the animals that were his roommates, Lyon was sure Gray got over whatever little germophobia he had. He had once watched Natsu ingest a hole can of expired green beans, crowing about going to Valhalla as he did so. His younger adopted brother learned by examples, after all.

“Lay off. Uber eats is a fine job! I make enough to get by and save. Meredy also makes good tips at Moe’s.” Times had been rough before, but the future was bright in Lyon’s eyes. They finally got it turned around without the constant offer of help from Ultear and Gray. Old debts were getting paid. He could make it by on his own.

“You don’t even have a car. You deliver by bike.” Gray deadpanned.

“For now! I almost have enough to buy that old building off on Waters Street. Then, the era of Vastia’s Realty will dawn! Vastia will sell your house fast-ia!” The moment it slogan rolled off his tongue, Gray’s cheeks inflated, his poor attempt to stifle his laughter failing. Lyon sighed.

“D-Did’ja…pfft, think of that by yourself?” Gray wheezed, slow clapping. “It really…shows your passion.” He broke into a fit of laughter.

“It’s still in the works.” Lyon dismissed coolly, mildly put off by his brother’s lack of enthusiasm.

“Oi, I think you’ll be great…just, leave the marketing to Meredy. That slogan was pretty rough.” Gray rolled his shoulders, adopting a contemplating expression before speaking, “Come to Vastia Realty and meet the most interesting realtor in the world! How about that?”

To be honest, Lyon did kind of like it. But, Gray actually being helpful was fishy in itself. “And how would I back that up?”

Gray’s smile turned wolfish. Ah, here it comes. “We can hang baby pictures of you up in the lobby and tell stories like how you wet the bed until you were-”

“Okay, let’s not.” Lyon interrupted a little louder than he wanted. Some mother shot them a withering glare before turning her attention back to her tot trying to count tickets. “I like the ‘most interesting realtor’ pitch, but let’s leave out the rest.”

Gray shrugged, helping himself to the pitcher of soda. “Suit yourself. I thought it had flare.” He waggled his free hand in a poor rendition of _‘the ol’ razzle dazzle’._

Lyon flashed a pointed tongue at him. “You would. You’ve always had bad taste…and a stripping habit!” he added as Gray fidgeted with his shirt, lifting it up past his pectorals. Lyon swore he could hear the indignant whispers of mothers all around. “Stripping is bad enough. Stripping in front of kids is worse.”

To his credit, Gray paled and shoved his shirt back down. “Still haven’t kicked that habit. Remember when we tried out for the swim team and asked Ur to train us?”

Lyon blinked, a wistful smile crossing his face. How could he ever forget anything that had to do with Ur? “I do. I remember her telling us about when she was an olympic swimmer and how she would train. And like fools, we asked her to push us and push us hard.”

Gray let his face fall into his palms. “Oh, that was the worst decision we ever made. Remember when we had to ‘think speed’? Strip down to our shorts as fast as we could, then sprint at and dive into the water? She made us run that drill until I strip out of habit!”

His brother laughed softly, eyes gleaming with fond memories as well. Something about Gray eating it one day with his pants half off. That was hilarious. “Yeah, but it got us on the swim team. Ur was so proud.”

“The little league swim team. I don’t know why she had our team pictures on the fridge.” Gray chuckled, pushing his empty plate away, shifting on the uncomfortable booth seat.

“She was proud because we set out and did it. For the first time, her two lost boys found a way with pure grit.” Lyon said, staring into his glass of ice water. “We weren’t lost anymore.”

The silence that stretched after that lingered long after the pizza had grown cold. Lyon could see the grease of the cheese start to coagulate, the pepperoni curling up as it dried.

“So-” Lyon finally said, his voice a croak “-what is Gray Fullbuster up to these days? I yakked about my plans. What are yours?”

Gray blinked, at odds with the fact that for once with Lyon, he didn’t have the heart to brag about his life. Not after remembering all that was in their childhood. Ur wouldn’t want them putting each other down.

“Well…the guys and I have this new case. Natsu is raring to go as usual, but he put both of us into a produce cart when we were in a chase. I told you about Lucy, right?”

Lyon nodded with a small smile. “Still not giving him the time of day?”

Gray grinned. “You got it, but I see her easing up. I think that asshole enjoys giving chase to her.”

Both men sighed, Lyon rolling his eyes. “That guy is something else.”

“Yeah, well, he’s takin’ to quoting Shakespeare at her…incorrectly. So that’s a thing. Gajeel, well, still has a steel rod up his ass but he keeps us in line.” Gray sighed, looking at his watch, mildly uncomfortable sharing anymore details. “At this rate we are gonna be here for dinner.”

Lyon started, glancing at his own phone in surprise. “Whoa, I’m late. I got an extra gig and I still have to run home and change.”

“Run, Lyon, run.” Gray teased.

“Shaddup Gray.” Lyon snapped as he stood, flopping a measly two dollars onto the table.He paused, looking grim as he dug deeper into his ratty wallet, pursing his lips as his search continued to be fruitless.

“Oi, I got it.” Gray said finally, “Get going. Next time, I treat you to this really great coffee shop.”

Flashing a grateful smile, Lyon slid his wallet into his pockets quickly, bumping fists with his brother before whipping around and hustling away. Watching him go, Gray rolled his eyes, fishing out his own wallet, not in the least peeved.

After all, he had plenty of time to pester Lyon to pay him back.

.

.

.

Some people didn’t just have days off. No rest for the wicked. That sort of thing. As Gajeel leaned closer to the stack of paperwork he had on his desk, it didn’t make the sort of difference he wanted. The stack was still tall, and half of it wasn’t his own.

Damn that Detective Fullbuster for putting in a day off right under his nose when he fell behind on paperwork. He had better things to do that pick up the slack!

At least Natsu did his paperwork on time…with doodles for ‘extra credit’ as he called them. Some of them were little stick people getting eaten by dragons, others were of miscellaneous things like cheeseburgers or the scribbles of ‘Mr. Natsu Heartfilia’.

God, he was pathetic.

Gajeel let his forehead smack the desktop, once, twice, a third time for extra assurance before he took up his pen again, signing away. Register evidence to the locker? Check. Release personal items to families? Check. Release news to press? Fuck that, the vultures can find it on their own!

The stack loomed over him, reminding him of the drill sergeant he had in the academy. It’s been years before anyone actually tore him down to the bare frame, his mind honed in a carefully forged body of muscle. Sure, he was a little rebellious back then and needed a lot of work, but he had people to put him back on the right path.

So did Fullbuster and Dragneel.

Gajeel sneered at the memories of the three of them, three boys desperate to be changed men. They didn’t realize it at the time, but they all were after the same thing: belonging. As much as it ground his gears in the beginning, they were a pretty good set besides the tiffs every now and then.

They were still fucking morons…but they could be morons together. Absently, he touched his left eye, where Dragneel had given him a black eye once, then is right cheek, where Gray had once slugged him. If anything, Gajeel imagined them to be like brothers, not that he had any desire for some. They kinda just…fell into his lap one day, literally. They had a fight in the mess hall and fell into his lap, knocking his grilled cheese into orbit.

Assholes.

But that’s how they became friends, and he used the term loosely. They paired up for sparring, got stuck in the same bunk area, had the same obstacle courses, and eventually volunteered each other for pepper spray and taser tests. He could still remember Natsu’s cackle when he got to taze Gray, and Gray’s chortles when he got to pepper spray Natsu. He, however, got to taze and spray them both.

Somehow, the fuckers ended up studying with him, comparing notes and giving backhanded advice to each other. They became some funky trio, like the Three Stooges. The two stuck like glue to him. Gajeel could see why.

Natsu, with his fucked up past and his desperate push after his adopted dad’s death, felt alone and clung to the one thing that kept his feet grounded on the right path: the police academy. He was volatile, shouting at instructors and usually running extra laps, but it was all a face to hide the pain. Gajeel had heard of the gang Tartaros before, back when he was young and in the gang life too. He knew of the Black Wizard, the leader, and of his little monster brother, END. It wasn’t until later in the academy that Gray and he learned the truth. That Natsu was one and the same: END. Gray’s snooping habit bit them in the ass, intercepting a letter from a penitentiary. What a mistake. They let Natsu wallop them that time.

But it cleared the air and Natsu slowly came down to the land of actual people.

Gray, well, had an equally screwed up past. The death of his parents by the drug lord, Deloria hit him hard. The foster system dropped him like a hot potato after he started getting picked up in juvie. It was pure luck that a foster mother suitable for assholes like Gray picked him up, adopting him not long after. Gray had a more stable life than he or Natsu, but it shattered just as fast when his mom died, leaving the older sister to care for them. From what he knew, Gray’s brother started getting into trouble where as Gray pulled himself up by his bootstraps.

As for himself, well, he was naturally a troublemaker. Which of course drew those dweebs to him like flies to food.

Then they graduated, moved into a rented house together, and lived happily fucking after. That was nearly five years ago. Which is how long it’ll take him to finish this paperwork!

With a snarl, Gajeel shoved a stack aside, just barely stopping himself from pushing just a little more so it all toppled into the garbage. Gray would be in so much shit, but then his leadership would look bad too. With all the faith this department put into his sorry ass, that was unacceptable.

He signed away paper after paper, not bothering to check the clock. The stack began to shrivel, still a formidable size for Gray to deal with tomorrow.

Was he allergic to paperwork or something? Why was it so hard? All he had to to was not read and just sign. Then, he got to get yelled at for not reading. It wasn’t rocket science.

He supposed that he got stuck with them as punishment, for what, he didn’t know. It was shitty, shitty karma.

He glanced up for a moment, freezing as he stared out of the glass of his office and into the halls. Or rather, in the conference room beyond the hall.

It was a quiet room, one designated for detective use only. Cork boards and whiteboards decorated the walls, all meant for cases. There were a few desks too, but the main table was an oval, situated where one would see the biggest whiteboard.

Inside, fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching away in frustration, stood Natsu. He faced down the largest cork board, photos and sticky notes plastered all over. Even from a distance, Gajeel could see the red yarn that Natsu favored, tied around thumb tacks and drawing lines. It was old fashioned but effective; Natsu being a hands on-learner requiring more of the old fashioned.

By the looks of it, he wasn’t making headway on whatever case he was looking at. Be it the increased car thefts or the increased amounts of misdemeanor crimes. It was looking like he had no headway in either.

Though, the same could be said for Gray as well. No leads on the increased drug trade or the sudden flux of counterfeit money in the city now. But he didn’t see Gray on the edge of a mental breakdown.

Or…kicking a chair over.

The clatter was lost over the distance and walls between, but Gajeel saw Natsu cringe at the sound, calming immediately. That guy…mind like a steel trap but still with a temper.

He watched Natsu move, gently setting the chair upright once more before returning to the board looking more pensive.

Gajeel didn’t get to squint and take a peek at what Natsu was dealing with, because a figure crossed his sights, passing between the rooms through the hall. Orange sweater with a yellow headband, blue hair. His heart sputtered, his mind cleared of any questions about Natsu’s cases. Levy slowed, turning her head to look at him, eyes locking on.

Time slowed for a moment before she sent that smile. Fuck, now he was blushing and squirming in his seat. He had time, right? Paperwork could wait. Those manly butterflies were back, strumming electric guitars and singing ‘shooby doo’.

They dropped like lead, however, when Levy blinked, glanced to his door, and flushed the brightest shade of red. He heard the knock echo in his head as Levy looked to the floor and scurried away, taking his music with her.

There went that.

“Come in.” he grumbled, pretending to be working and schooling his face back into a scowl. Who dared come through his door?

“Redfox.” Oh fuck.

“Scarlet.” he greeted, praying his brow didn’t have sweat. She was oblivious to most things but the scent of fear. She was viciously scary without trying, the air around her heavy with threat.

She smiled and he relaxed. No, she didn’t know.

“Enjoying your day?” she mused, eyeing his completed stack with approval in her face. “You’ve certainly been busy.”

He would have been busy with something else if she hadn’t darkened his doorway. Someone else.

“Eh, yer definition of enjoying varies from mine.”

The smile stayed. So she was amused? Wha-

“So you forgot about your court appearance, I suppose?”

His stomach bottomed out, eyes tearing to the clock. He wasn’t- aw shit he was late. Standing up, his chair rolled back as he scrambled around the desk, accidentally getting his foot stuck in the wastebasket. A curse on his lips, he kicked it away, stumbling his way over to the door. Erza stepped aside with that stupid smirk. If only he could wipe it away.

Ah.

“Finish up my paperwork for me, thanks Scarlet.” he said, flashing a sneer of his own. If anything made her frown, it was paperwork.

The smirk widened, like a hyena with a plot. “Me? Why Detective Dragneel happens to be right across the hall. I’m sure he has the time. I’ll do you a favor and pass it along.” With a toss of her hair, she nodded to the door. “Well? Get moving!”

A shiver crawled down Gajeel’s spine. Well, he tried! Without even glancing at Natsu and sending a mental apology, Gajeel hustled away, knowing he’ll be forgiven by Natsu after a punch or two…but never by Lucy if he left her hanging, not until he bought her a new law book.

.

.

.

“Ms. Heartfilia, could you please get off your plane of existence and explain your point frankly?”

Gods, she was so tired, her eyes burned like she opened them in the ocean. It wasn’t her fault that they couldn’t follow the leads she was laying down. She spent days getting this evidence, days arguing it in court, and at this point it will be longer. She literally just proved this guy guilty while speaking plainly. 

Oh well, she forgot that some people never went to law school. She looked at the jury, embarrassment flooding her at the blank looks that greeted her. Oh, maybe she did overdo it.

Judge Fernandes seemed to have followed her but he was just as on par with her trail as she was.

“Of course, your Honor.” she allowed, closing her eyes and taking a breath in. Okay, simplify.

“The evidence against Mr. Prominence is overwhelming. He has DNA evidence linking him to no less than ten missing women this year alone. Of the most recent: Millianna Gato, Susan Farlow, and Michelle Starbrooke. All three of high school age and interested in a summer internship. An internship sponsored by Mr. Prominence, himself.”

Lucy breathed in, and instantly regretted it.

“Objection!” Bora’s defense growled, spittle flinging from his lips.

“On what grounds?” Judge Fernandes asked.

“I object on the grounds that Ms. Heartfilia is trying to sway the jury through plain statements that hold no full proof that my client is in fact guilty of these girl’s disappearances.” He was still slinging spit, like a leaking faucet.

Lucy scowled. Of course she was trying to sway the jury. It was her job. What kind of crackpot lawyer did this guy hire?

Judge Fernandes seemed to have the same idea. “Overruled. There have been no full statements from Ms. Heartfilia that directly accuse Mr. Prominence. Ms. Heartfilia, proceed.”

“Thank you, your Honor.” Lucy said graciously. “As I was saying, this internship, if you recall, took young and ambitious girls that dreamed of becoming models and promised a study abroad trip that the internship funded should the girl not be able to provide.”

She stepped closer to the jury, moving her hand in sweeping gestures as she continued, “Prosecution has presented bank statements linking Mr. Prominence to the girl’s tickets purchases, evidence that the girls met with him before their disappearances, and evidence that these girls have been sold as slaves to Bosco with handwritten receipts.” Honestly, he wanted to get caught. He never wiped the hard drives before police seized them. He filed printed bank statements in a cabinet. He was the most self-incriminating criminal she had ever seen in court.

“If the jury desires, I can present even more evidence-” she began, freezing when the Judge coughed.

“Ms. Heartfilia, we are out of time. I will adjourn until a later date. I will take a parting statement.”

Crap. She took too long.

“Of course, your Honor. I only leave the reminder that should the jury wish, I will present more evidence to support a sentence.”

She thought she heard a groan from some of the jury. They should fear. She won’t take ‘not guilty’ for an answer. Those girls deserved as much.

“Indeed,” Judge Fernandes conceded, “something the jury will deliberate next session. This court will adjourn until next Wednesday at eight AM.” His gavel hit the desk and instantly Lucy relaxed her muscles.

“Officer Redfox, now that you have joined us, please escort Mr. Bora Prominence to the detention officers.”

Lucy tensed all over again, whirling around and watching Gajeel sheepishly move from the aisle to enter the floor, fishing out his cuffs. So he did show up! She hadn’t seen him at all during the defense nor when she took the floor. Meaning, he was late when he promised not to be. Judging by the way he avoided her pinpoint gaze, she figured he knew she noticed.

Sounds of the jury standing and shuffling to the back room echoed through the courtroom; the polished wood that accented every inch of the room made it reverberate like they stood inside a drum.

It was the music of dismissal, the melody of justice that she had become accustomed to since her internships. 

A sigh on her breath, Lucy wandered back to her table, trying to gather her chaos back into her briefcase. Today was yet another day of frustration potent enough for her to get messy with paperwork. This trial has been going on forever and truth be told, she was even tired of it. The jury was wilting, looking bored each and every day now. No matter how much evidence she dug up, the defense barely managed to counter.

This trial was a joke. What a waste of her precious time.

By the time she latched her case and slung it over her shoulder, Gajeel had returned, holding open the gate that separated observers from the court.

“You were late.” she said, stepping through and pausing for him to follow.

His gaze averted for a second before he met her eyes. “Yeh, I figured ya noticed.” He flashed her a grin, ruffling her hair and snorting when she squealed, “My hair!”

“Sorry bunny girl, I had to cover Fullbuster’s paperwork and Dragneel was busy with his cases. Time ran away, I guess.” It was true…enough he supposed.

Lucy smiled, walking alongside him through the halls. “Well, that’s acceptable. Nobody got rowdy this time.” She brushed strands of hair from her face, eyes drifting to the old tile floor as her heels clacked on it. “And, I’m not surprised to hear that Gray skimped out of work…or how hard Natsu is working.” She laughed lightly then, “They are something else, huh?”

Gajeel rolled his eyes, grumbling, “Oh yeah, something else, alright. Both are moronic monkeys on my back.” Bringing up his hand, he scratched at his chin, scowling at a point along the farthest walls. “Gray’s hidin’ something. He’s always texting someone, not saying who it is. He’s starting to be absent from dinner and sometimes not coming home at night.”

Lucy blinked, staring up at Gajeel before a sly look crossed her face. “Oh~.” she hummed, a glint in her eyes. “Getting worried, are you? Gajeel, I never expected you to be a mother hen!”

She was teasing, but it grated his nerves enough to flash her a glower. “Careful what you say, bunny girl. I won’t stand for that kinda talk.”

Lucy stuck her tongue out at him. But instead of rising up, Gajeel grinned cheekily and went for a lower blow. “Oh yeah, Dragneel told me to tell ya, ‘What is a drunken man like? Me when I see you.’”

Her face warmed, but she laughed lightly, shaking her head. “He never gets the quotes right.” she sighed, reaching into her purse and pulling out a small composition notebook and her pen. Natsu never got the quotes right, but she would remember every single one.

“I don’t think he realizes I double majored in Law and English literature.” she sighed.

Gajeel shrugged, his lips bordering a sneer now. “If he ever figures out you write down every single one of his botched quotes-”

Lucy smacked his pierced cheeks with her pen, a playful scowl that did not hide her raging blush on her cheeks. “You are sworn to secrecy, crepe chef.”

Gajeel clamped his mouth shut, starting to pout. Ah, checkmate.

“I swear you, Erza and Levy can be wicked. All these women managing to keep me in check. I can’t even make fun of the idiots now.”

.

.

.

He was so full of pizza he felt like he had to roll home. Every time Gray invited him to lunch, he always pigged out. Meredy actually teased him about gaining a few.

Stepping over a pothole in the sidewalk, Lyon walked on with what could only be described as the swagger of a full and confident man. Of all the things he was proud of, deceiving his brother once again was one of them.

He hated it, sure, but lying seemed preferable to actually having Gray disappointed and insisting on helping he and Meredy out financially. He wasn’t a damn child, no matter how he and Gray teased each other.

The realtor business wasn’t even close. Their funds weren’t even in the ballpark. They lived off of ramen and spaghettios. He stole WiFi from his neighbors.Their water was shut off twice this month alone.

Ur would be ashamed and Lyon knew he couldn’t handle the shame in Gray’s eyes too. Ultear was never around much, so his secret stayed safe from her, at least.

Ur’s two perfect children and the one not-so-perfect one.

He and Meredy needed a call soon or they’d fall short on rent again. After just barely squaring it away from being four months in delinquency, the landlord promised to be far less understanding in the future.

He’d do anything to keep her off the streets, cold and hungry.

As if by a miracle, his phone buzzed in his pocket, the ringer long since malfunctioned to forever stay silent. Not like he could afford a better phone anyway.

“Yo.” he greeted coolly after flipping the phone open, effortlessly pulling off his classic ‘Badass™’ look.

The voice on the other side was like an angel, his one kryptonite.

“Hey Darlin’, I was just thinking about y-”

An angel that had some fantastic news, apparently, since she didn’t wait for him to flatter her properly.

“What? A job?” He tried not to sound too overeager. He failed when she gave him the payload.

“A-Are you serious!? Twenty grand just to do that?!”

She spoke again and he had to grasp the wall of the nearest building to prevent him from falling to the earth.

_“Each?!”_

He felt like Icarus, the boy that fashioned wings of feather and wax to take to the skies, to taste that freedom that had been eluding him for so long. As long as he stayed away from the sun and the tumultuous waves below, he could soar forever.

With Meredy sounding just as thrilled as he, it was hard not to smile. This was they big break. This was their moment.

“Count me in. Where do I need to be?”

.

.

.

Magnolia was a beautiful city, accented mostly by the canals and the gorgeous cathedral. While tourists stuck to the well lit, well patrolled parts, most locals knew where not to be at certain parts of the day. Like now, Main Street would be overflowing with traffic, so much so that cars would clog the intersections because the lights never changed fast or often enough.

It was the case now here in the development district. No local in their right mind would be on Abandoned Row, the street filled with the most abandoned warehouses. Most belonged to Heartfilia Railways, but after the latest stock hit, the company had to sell off a few assets…and abandon some too.

Locals avoided it, so naturally it was the perfect place to do the less than legal things.

He was a little late, so by the time he was speed walking up to the meet point, Meredy was already motioning to a large, unmarked truck to line up with the loading zone. She flashed him a smile, one that never failed to set his heart aflutter, before returning her focus back to the task at hand.

Lyon had just enough time to sidle up to her side, assuring that the warehouse doors were accessible as the truck screeched to a stop. If he had to guess, the left rear axle was needing some serious diagnostics, but that wasn’t his job to care.

Before his sweet Meredy could open her mouth to finally greet him, the door to the truck started unfurling, metal sheets clanking as they rolled up to the top.

Then, Lyon laid his eyes on something as pretty as a heap of stinking garbage.

“Lyon. Meredy.” The man greeted coolly as he kicked out the ramp, steadying it on the loading dock before making his way across the gap. “I see not much has changed around these parts, then.”

“Kageyama.” he said just as icily, pasting on what could only be a leather-like smile. Maybe the corner of his lips started cracking. “Still you, I see.”

Meredy shot him a look out of the extreme peripheral of her eyes, her lips pursed. Ah, right. _Manners._

Kageyama threw his head back with a bark of a laugh, no humor behind it at all. “Just as well. I’m only in town to clean up Erigor’s mess and then I’ll be out of your hair.” He kicked at a chock with the point of his shoe, watching the pyramid bounce away and fall down through the gap of the loading dock. “Getting arrested and all. His shit still needs to be shipped.”

“A minor setback, of course.” Meredy spoke finally, tossing her hair and turning to the warehouse door. The lock had already been disposed of, the metal shears left abandoned in the corner. With a dainty kneel, she grasped the handle and lifted with her knees, raising the door up with all the upper body strength she had.

“Gotta like a woman that can bend and lift.” Kageyama mused, grinning wider when Lyon shot him a withering look. “Aw now, I ain’t stepping on your territory, man. Just admiring.”

“You treat her with respect, you-” Lyon began, baring his teeth just a little.

“Boys. I’d like to get home sometime today. Let’s go.” Meredy cut in, giving Lyon yet another meaningful look before turning to enter the dark warehouse, a chuckling Kageyama following behind her.

“Yes Ma’am.”

He waited until Kageyama was deep in the truck, adjusting boxes so that the goods wouldn’t get damaged in transit, before speaking to Meredy in low tones.

“You know I don’t like when you’re disrespected.”

She flashed him a gentle smile, one usually reserved for him in private moments. His breath hitched and her eyes got just a little bit brighter.

“I know, babe. But we gotta keep it together. The Boss needs to keep a firm hold on his business or Mard’s gonna sweep us all out.” Her hands, soft and small, brushed his cheeks as gentle as a summer wind. “Play nice and we’ll be living the high life soon.”

Play nice. Her warning was clear. “Yeah, I got it. It’s kinda nice not having to fight Mard’s shitheads anymore. I get to do business on both turfs now that they came to a truce.”

She hummed, gathering more boxes in her arms. “Right. So, let’s get this truck gone by nightfall, hm?”

He couldn’t find the will to argue with her when she gave him that look. So, he put his head down and pushed, wishing more than anything to watch that truck drive off into the dusk and leave him alone with the one girl that could ever understand him…and a wad full of cash for his best behavior.

.

.

.

He felt he looked quite the part of insane, gazing up and down at the walls of his cell. His fingers were dusted white, as well as his palms. Of course, it wasn’t the white powder he was used to dealing with but when the guard on duty offered something occupy his time other than just singing annoying songs, he couldn’t resist adding substance to his planned insanity plea. 

The song that never ended was not a popular choice of tunes for the cops, he supposed.

Half the chalk was gone now, being replaced by repetitive games of tic-tac-toe scribbled all over the walls. He was losing to himself, 130 to 0 if his count was correct.

It was so dull here in his little corner of hell. He had half an urge to lay on the floor and draw out his chalk outline just for giggles. Or maybe imagine it as that pesky Redfox’s outline. That would be something too.

From the open spaces beyond his cell, a throat cleared, and Erigor, ever bored and curious, turned to glance behind him.

White hair fell like waves of silk from her head, her smile ever so sweet as she stood before his prison. The classic police uniform she sported was the same as the guard’s had been, but she wore it like one of those cheesy camera girl bits, her cap tilted to the side and her buttons undone near her throat.

He grinned at her, eyeing her from head to toe, focusing on the tray of food she held out.

“Angel.”

Her grin widened, her eyes fluttering. “Erigor. Good to see you, as always.” She knelt down, sliding the tray through the opening under the gate. “I brought extra. Lord knows they don’t feed anyone enough in this joint.” she mused with a cute giggle.

Erigor didn’t wait, snatching the tray and dragging it to him as he sat cross legged on the floor. A burger and fries, how nice, he thought as he started to smother the bun in mustard and ketchup from the packets provided.

“Thanks doll. Maybe you are good for something other than being the Boss’s hot piece of the week.” he barbed, biting into the burger and watching her reaction as he chewed.

Angel just smiled serenely, letting the insult slide off her back like water off feathers.

“Always such a gentleman, Erigor. I’m charmed.” She followed it up with a bat of her wrist playfully, eyes falling to his food. “Anyway, try the fries. I got em from Fred’s, unsalted of course to make sure they were as fresh as possible. You got salt there to your right.”

Erigor grinned like a cat got the cream kind of way, snatching the salt and practically dumping the whole shaker over the fries. “Thanks. I haven’t eaten all damn day!”

For once, Angel cringed, still watching him from her kneeling position. “You know, too much salt can kill you one day. Maybe you should cut back your consumption a little?”

To reply, Erigor met her eyes and dumped even more salt on his fries before shoveling them into his mouth. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

He was halfway through his burger when something made him freeze mid-chew. His mouth felt dry, his cheeks hot and puffy. With wide, horrified eyes, he stared at Angel, who was smiling gently.

“What? Don’t like tomato?” she asked, watching his now pale face in interest.

Erigor didn’t reply, instead spitting out the chewed mess and scrambling for the bottle of water, chugging noisily. Then, he dropped it and curled on his hands and knees, dry heaving and sobbing. After moments of failure, he dug his fingers into his mouth, reaching for the back of his throat.

“I told you, didn’t I? Too much salt can kill you.” Angel said, still kneeling just outside the cell, watching his every move with calculation. “Although, that wasn’t just salt but really, all I know how to do is spread my legs, right?”

Erigor wheezed, panic aiding in his failure to retch. “Why…?” he managed, losing strength in his limbs alarmingly fast. The sight of her was blurring, his head spinning like he had too much liquor.

She laughed brightly, as if he told her a joke. “He is not too pleased with you, Erigor. Plus, you might squeal to the cops and he can’t risk that, can he?”

He started to convulse, gasping and grunting as his fingers scrambled for the tray. His eyes were rolling to the back of his head, making him more like a grotesque fish out of water than a man.

“Keyes is going to make this look like a natural death and you will be laid to rest like a dog in a backyard. How is that for your so called ‘greatness’?” Angel added, her smile twisting into the cruel gleam he knew was beneath it. So that was how she got her nickname.

He choked on his answer, drool and foam oozing from his dry lips as his body finally collapsed to the floor.

“Remember my name as you pass, Erigor. Angel of Death. I’d love to stay but I have more important things to do than watch you die, you know. Ciao.”

He can’t see, so he isn’t sure if she’s actually gone, but he reached out anyway, dragging his fingers through the smears of mustard and ketchup.

He can’t feel his body anymore, so he isn’t sure if he’s making it clear enough, but he tried anyway, dragging his fingers along the concrete floor.

His eyes rolled back, his last breath like a series of knives in his throat. He stared on, hoping his effort wasn’t wasted as his pulsing ears hear the calls of others echoing all around him.

“Help! Detention Ward!”

With his final moment ticking by, Erigor stared at his ketchup and mustard stained fingers, the colorful **‘AoD’** he scrawled just beyond his vision.

With that, Erigor died, surrounded by nobody on the cold floor of Magnolia’s second district county jail.


	4. PMI TMI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu needs more RAM,  
a panic attack,  
a really gross interval,  
and stealing is bad, kids!

“Shit.”

He squinted at the screen of his laptop, frantically jabbing the directional keys, leaning this way and that so his voice was accompanied by the noise of the leather beanbag. 

“Ah, no-no, try again fortythieves34. You can’t take me down.” Jerking to the right, the laptop nearly slid from his lap before he caught it with the side of his knee. The hard drive answered with a few furious clicks.

The room was shadowed by shelves and drawn blinds, casting an eerie air about the room. It bothered Natsu none, for Gajeel wasn’t allowed in this room to nag him about this being bad for his eyes.

Alone in his ‘dragon cave’, it really didn’t bother Natsu at all. He had his lava lamp and his computer as his only lights, his headset occasionally flashing purple lights by his ears. 

Blankets piled around him, cresting over his bed like artificial waves. Boxes of stolen snacks scattered around the area, some waiting for trash day. 

“Your quest ends today.” he hissed, cackling as his fingers held down a key for emphasis. “I want that armor you got.”

The fan of the laptop whirred to life, the hard drive clicking softly and Natsu shifted it on his lap to air out the bottom. The movement cost him precious seconds.

“Shit! Ah, no, no, noooo.” He sat up as quickly as he could while the bean bag fought desperately to keep him. “Potion. I need a potion.”

At his side, a long surge protector sat, pathetically well used with cords spewing from it like roots of a tree. Of these cords, one ran to the phone that sat by Natsu’s head, safe on the bed. He’d sat on the phone too many times, or lost it in the sea of blankets he hoarded, thus it found its new home there. 

“This is taking forever. Just let me hit you with my axe and be on my way.”

As if the world turned up its lip to sneer at him, his phone buzzed, breaking the darkness with the brightest LED of all.

It made Natsu hiss and squint. It made his second wind die. His screen turned red, and his jaw slackened. Reality was slow to hit but when it did, it swung like a slugger. Quietly he shut the laptop and began reciting curse words in alphabetical order. “Ass. Bitch. Chicken noodles. Douchebox-”

The phone buzzed again and Natsu snorted, pushing the laptop on the bed and trading it for the phone.

Now who would bother him on his day off? Like, rude. Well, his shift ended hours ago, so technically he was off the clock even if the day had not ended. 

One look at the message on the screen and he was ripping his headphones off and leaping for the laundry basket by his door. His uniform was stinky for sure, days overdue for a wash but it would have to do for one more he supposed. A spritz of cologne to get by. Laundry would have to take the back burner...again.

His foot tangled with his cords, sending him crashing into the floor with all the grace he could silently muster. His grunt unleashed a cluster of dust that had clung to the door stopper. “Ouch.”

He stayed for a moment, only letting himself grimace as he stood and finished dressing. A suspect had been found dead, inside his cell. A murder had happened in a secured area. There was no time. 

Taking the stairs two at a time, Natsu skidded into the kitchen, his mind on an energy drink to hold him over. There, Gajeel turned around, his uniform half on and a quesadilla hanging from his maw. It could have been comical if the smell of hot cheese hadn’t reached his nose and made his stomach gurgle. Loudly. Enough to make Gajeel, who had been trying to speak around his mouthful, pause. 

With a scowl, he used the spatula he had been holding on to tap the skillet that rested on the counter, buffered by a wooden slab.

A pile of quesadillas rested there, steaming with freshness. Hot, fresh glory in food form.

_“Pher ray?”_ Gajeel hissed as Natsu grabbed a handful and wrapped them in paper towel for travel.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Natsu quipped, ignoring the fact that the habit was one of his less shiny qualities.

Gajeel gave him _the_ look that said it without words. Was his eyebrows burning from the intensity?

“Where’s. Gray?” he said, grabbing a tupperware from the cabinets, one that had been forever stained with microwaved Spagettio's. It had been in service since Natsu started the academy, and the recipient of the leaks from under the sink; not that he’d tell Gajeel that. Ever. The guy was more defensive of his kitchenware than he would be his first born, or so Natsu assumed.

“Dunno. Not my job to watch the pet possum.”

“Oh, I’m telling him you brought up the ‘possum trick again, after the bro code pact too.” Gajeel hummed, putting the sealed food in a cooler bag for travel. Was it community ‘dilla day? Gajeel never shared with the precinct. 

“Not my fault his first go to when about to get busted by a perp was to play dead.”

But, they both couldn’t stop smiling. “Or the fact that it fucking _worked._”

“Fine, I’ll text him since you can’t be bothered.” Gajeel sighed, now packing with one hand and texting with the other.

“Thanks, hun.” Natsu sneered, moving to grab an energy drink from the fridge and the keys from the hanger.

“Prick.” was his answer, “Buy your own damn car.”

Natsu rolled his eyes, partly wishing he could roll them far enough to see his brain to get the point across. “I got my bike but it’s cheaper to carpool, dude.”

The ping of a cell drew their attention to Gajeel’s hand. With squinted eyes, he slowly read:

“ _‘At Juvia’s. Getting coffee. Not taking orders, get wrekd’_. Rude lil shit, I take back the possum defense.”

Natsu paused at the decorative mirror in the hall, checking his buttons and badge. “Why? Her coffee tastes just like Dunkins? He goes almost every day now.”

A hand met the back of his head in response. Right. Don’t diss the cousin’s coffee out loud due to personal risk.

.

.

.

“What’s up, fellow murder fans?” Natsu called the moment his feet entered the jail. All the cells had been cleared, the crime scene sectioned off and flooded with familiar faces of varying moods. Like Monday’s in the precinct, only...there’s a stiff.

One look from Erza clammed up any humor he had.

The pensive one that adorned Lucy’s face made him rethink the seriousness of the situation. 

“As I was saying-” their Sargent said, casting him one last warning stare, “-Erigor was murdered in containment, in solitary, with no scheduled visits. There is no sight of forced entry and he's bleeding from the mouth. He's been dead for an hour at least. He hasn't stiffened up yet. Soon, his skin will get discolored and rigor mortis will set in soon, the blood coagulating and-"

"Um, Red? I just ate, so can we just trash this conversation? TMI." Gajeel groaned, placing a hand over his mouth and looking pale.

"Same." Lucy looked even more pale. Natsu kinda felt sorry for her, but then he'd have to feel pity for Gajeel too. Unacceptable at the moment.

Erza, however, just blinked. "Of course. My apologies. I merely was just relaying that we must hurry up. Although, it is ironic since he too had just eaten."

Ignoring the groans, she turned away to address the other man in the cell, a portly one with eccentric hair and a quick hand on the Nikon D850. his only noise was the shutter of the lens and the soft huffs as he got every angle, even going as far as to kneel right next to the corpse and zoom in on his final message.

"Reed, have you finished gathering the evidence?" 

Reed, the precinct photography evidence technician and occasional sketch artist, hummed in affirmative, cleaning his camera lens and standing. His knees gave a loud crackle that everyone cringed at.

“Good. This is a breech in our containment on a suspect that had yet to confess.”

“Sorry Erza, but he was under consideration for a plea bargain. He would have had immunity if he gave up the names of others involved. Someone clearly didn’t want Erigor to talk.” Lucy chimed in softly, eyes fixated on the dried ketchup staining the corpses’ fingers. “I was to check in with him later today.”

“So we have a motive. Okay, let’s-”

“Hey! Sorry I’m late guys!” Gray called, slipping in and sidling along the wall far from Erza and Gajeel. His hair was disheveled and his uniform wrinkled enough to earn a sneer of disapproval from Erza. 

“Detective, I expect punctuality from all of our team even if it is an emergency call, though it looks like you were rushed so I will overlook it this once.” Erza snipped before turning away. Chastised, Gray bit his bottom lip and averted his eyes with rosy cheeks. 

_Call me crazy_, Natsu thought, _but did Gray just get flustered over that?_

Then he saw the sly side eye that Lucy shot him and the glare that Gray returned with even redder cheeks. So he was totally missing something here, some sort of secret joke. Or...possible blackmail material against Gray. Oh, if he could just convince Lucy to the Darkside, they could be unstoppable pranksters.

“Anyways," Erza interrupted his thoughts, unaware of the silent exchange, "we have a possible motive, to silence the possible snitch and prevent a leak of information. Most likely to the mob circuit that we’ve been looking for.”

“Cool motive, sill murder.” Lucy muttered darkly, and Natsu couldn’t help but wonder if this is what falling in love was like. Well, aside from all the real serious shit going down. One quote burned at the back of his throat but her refused to cause anymore embarrassment to himself today. _I burn, I pine, I perish._

“Let’s start with questioning everyone on duty at the time of the murder while Natsu and I get this body to the cornor’s office. Gajeel, alert all the other precincts about this incident. They need to be onguard. Lucy, I’m sorry, but I must cancel our spa day. Gray, you scan for more clues and evidence. As of now, there is a war of the streets coming.”

“Then let me have war.” Natsu said, catching Lucy’s head snapped towards him out the corner of his eye. “We’re gonna catch the bastard, possible bastards behind this.” Then, his eyes locked with hers. “It’s our duty to Magnolia.”

Gajeel broke the moment with the most childish groan a grown-ass man could make.

“This means more paperwork and overtime. _Fuck_ my life.”

.

.

.

Drip Drop was always slow during the afternoons of the weekdays. In never bothered Juvia, who loved the morning rushes and the lunch service. She hardly expected anyone to need coffee this late in the afternoon although the stray ‘breakfast-for-dinner’ group was always a treat. They at least helped her clear out old stock in preparation for tomorrow morning’s fresh treats.

Savoring the peace of the empty cafe, she turned up the radio speakers louder than usual in the kitchen, humming along as she cleaned the front of house with her mind on a few hours earlier.

When Gray managed to corner her during her lunch break in the back room. Her face warmed at the thought, though she couldn’t stop the small smile. He was so cute when flustered and he was easy to tease.

Her Gray-sama was such a softie inside that ice exterior. She had known from the beginning. The fun part was chipping away at it with coffee and smiles, until she got to the center: his true self.

Stripping the disposable gloves off her hands, she moved from countertop to cooler, checking labels and preparing the warmers for the next batch of dough. With the lack of customers, she ached to get ahead of prep and maybe be able to take a breather during the rush tomorrow.

Only, the bell at the door rang and she had to swallow down the disappointment. Maybe after this visitor, then.

Straightening, her back gave a twinge of discomfort, enough for her to use the counter as a crutch. Since it was after busy hours, the new prices were in effect, and she plastered on a smile, already starting to remind herself before she spoke.

One look at who had entered and her smile fell like a sinker on a fishing line. The room suddenly was too cold, too open, too empty. Juvia quickly noted where her broom was, ascertaining it was within arms reach. Her preferred metal paddle was in the washer, so it would have to do should she have to defend herself or her shop.

“Mr. Porla, is it that time already?” she said, trying hard to keep a pleasant air. She failed miserably as his keen eyes sharpened and his smile was razor thin. 

“Good evening Ms. Lockser. I see your establishment is doing just fine. Just fine indeed.” Even his voice was oily, his gaze making her wish she could go home and shower for a whole hour. Of all the people in her life, Jose was the one she wished for karma to slap back: Hard.

“Yes sir, I put my heart and soul into Drip Drop Cafe.” Moving to the register, her fingers trembled as she touched the keys, feeling dread crawl up her spine. 

He was here early, two weeks early. She hadn't had enough time to replenish from last months’ due. She didn’t have enough.

Jose seemed to smell her fear, for his grin grew sickly sweet ad she couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes.

“Hmm, my dear, you seem to be short.” he called, as if she were a child trying to buy gumballs at the store. Long, gnarled fingers stroked the stack of cash she handed over, separating each bill ever so slowly. “This simply won’t do.”

If she could hit him with her rolling pins, or push him in the mixer, or lock him in the walk in freezer…

“I’m so sorry, sir. It’s only been two weeks since I last paid. If I just-”

“This is unacceptable, Ms. Lockser. Absolutely insulting. You pay what we want, when we want, and your precious little shop stays safe from...unfortunate incidents.” Jose interrupted, his voice now hard as diamond. 

It took the wind from her sails, cowing her resolve. Her body felt like it was trembling, everything too bright and loud. The shine of the chrome was too much and her heart beat like a frantic trapped bird against her ribs. _Don’t cry,_ she bit the corner of her tongue, her eyes starting to feel hot. _Don’t you dare cry!_

“Of course,” he added, much softer now, “Mr. Hades is forgiving as he is generous to the less fortunate. I’m sure we can overlook this slight, just this once.”

She didn’t dare breathe.

“In return, next time you owe double.” As he spoke, he reached over the counter, pawing into the display case and fishing out a scone. He inspected it for a moment before taking a large bite. “And Ms. Lockser? Do have our money when I return.” The threat was clear.

He put the scone back where he found it before slowly licking his fingers. “I’ll be in touch.”

Juvia waited until the bell rang, signaling his exit, before she gasped in air. Her chest hurt, her heart racing, and her eyes burning. Suddenly her good mood was spoiled and the music in the kitchen was overstimulating. Her legs quivered as she held the counter for support.

It seemed like she would be skipping a few meals this coming month.

Silently, Juvia took a moment to breathe, calming herself enough to think. She was okay. She was going to be okay. She was definitely lying to herself but it wouldn’t be the first time.

She took the entire tray of scones, gave it a look of disdain, and dumped the whole thing into the garbage.

.

.

.

“Alright, so from the top-”

“Bunny girl, _please._ We’re professionals here.” Gajeel groaned, looking more like a limp noodle as he slumped even farther down his chair. “We gave ya our stuff now just do the legal magic without us.”

At his left, Gray looked half zoned, apparently finding her Newton’s Cradle far more interesting than any conversation. At his right, Natsu fidgeted from the herculean effort to pay attention to her and not pace her office. Plus, he’d upstage Lucy, who was already pacing behind her desk at a decent clip.

“Yeah, I know but this is all concerning.” she quipped, eyes never leaving the open file in her hands as she moved. It was as if the file had all the secrets of the puzzle and she just couldn’t get the hints. “Erigor had options. He had plea deals. He was sittin’ pretty as a candidate for witness protection if he just squeaked a few names-”

“Over my dead body.” Gray murmured, wrinkling his nose. “That jerk belonged in jail.”

“Even so-” Lucy continued, flashing him a glare with little heat behind it, “-he had every chance to talk, but he wanted to wait. Wait for what? A rescue of course. It had to be. A rescue that never happened because he was murdered right in his cell-”

“Lucy, please. Can we just skip to the part where you make sense?” Gajeel sighed, arms flopping over the armrests. “You’re drawing conclusions without solid proof.”

She paused, gave him a glare that could peel paint, and then continued pacing. “I think the expected rescuer was the murderer. We know there is a rat on the inside but how deep does this go? A suspect gets murdered in custody. This challenges the entire force.”

“Yeah, and we are vetting out the options. Just read the files, let the detectives do the sleuthing, you screw ‘em in the court.” 

Even Gray snapped to attention to cringe at her puffed cheeks, irritation a burning flame in her eyes. For a moment, Natsu was certain she was going to lunge over the desk and finally give Gray and Gajeel a thrashing. The tiniest sliver of glee burst to life at the image of them, together, kicking Gray and Gajeel’s asses. It would be something. It would be _sexy_ as hell.

Instead, she slowly leaned over the desk, accidently giving them a shot down her shirt as she stopped the Newton’s Cradle with a firm grab. “I’ll be right back.” she ground out, leaning back up and stalking past them, out her office door and down the hall. It left them unsupervised.

It was like time began to tick again.

Natsu was up and scrambling over his shoes, grabbing things on her desk and turning them over, eyes frantic as he searched.

“Dude, she’s going to skin you alive.” Gray warned, watching Natsu open and close drawers like a man who lost his car keys. Then he paused and smirked. “On second thought, proceed.”

He was greeted with the middle finger, expertly wielded as Natsu continued. “She’s always got candy somewhere. I just gotta find the stache. She hid the candy before we got here. I sense it in the Force.” Fingers skimmed under bags and pictures, dragging around her keyboard. He was at least careful enough not to touch the board, letting the screensaver pictures remain undisturbed. Lucy would definitely be suspicious if he screwed that up.

“He’s gonna get murdered right here and I’ll have to be a witness. Gajeel, stop him because I’ll flat out _lie_ under oath.” Gray hissed as Natsu paused, eyes narrowing on something...not a good sign.

“Oi, stop now before-” Gajeel said, but stopped when Natsu ignored him and plucked the little notebook from under the keyboard.

“Que es c’est?” 

“That was...was two different languages and you didn’t even mash them properly, you _fuckin-_” Gray began, sitting up just a little with more attention than before. 

“Shaddup Gray. Just because you speak French doesn’t make you smarter.” As he spoke, he thumbed along the spine of the composition notebook, noting there was no title. He knew Lucy was a writer, but to not title something? What was this for? 

“French is a dumb language and _because_ I speak it makes me smarter than you!”

“Hey! Both of you, shut up. Natsu, quit being nosy.” Gajeel tried to intervene, but failed as Natsu opened the book and thumbed through the pages.

Both men watched as Natsu’s brows furrowed for a moment before his eyes widened as they skimmed each page. “These...these are the quotes I say to her.” he murmured, awe coating his one. “She wrote them down...all of them.”

Each one, dated in neat handwriting, some in different color ink. Natsu swallowed the lump in his throat. Was this...being touched? Charmed? It kinda felt like he was gonna puke a bit.

“She carries that around everywhere. I’m surprised you never noticed.” 

Natsu glanced up to Gajeel, and the older man nearly felt a gag at the sheer delight on his face. A blushing, stuttering mess of a man in love. Gross.

“So she does like it!” Natsu crowed, tenderly stuffing the book back where he found it with all the skills of a detective for once. “Then why does she look constipated when I say them though?” 

He never got his answer, for rapidly approaching thumps outside told the men that break time was over. Natsu barely had time to vault over her desk and plant himself back in the chair as Lucy returned, her nose in a folder. She missed his goofy smile though, but Gray did not.

“Idiot.”

Natsu didn’t respond, which further solidified the statement in Gray’s mind.

“There’s something more here, guys. Drugs. Money laundering. I don’t know, but it's deeper and more serious since violence in the streets has spiked.” She stopped before them and looked at them all in the eye. “And it’s going to get worse.”

“Again Bunny Girl, relax. Our job is to find these guys before it gets to that.” Gajeel said, sitting up at last. “Trust us. We see everything that you do. These purps ain’t gonna get away from us.”

“Magnolia’s finest.” Gray added

“And they’ll get hit with the biggest legal smackdown from our local ADA.” Natsu finished, giving Lucy an energetic finger guns salute.

That finally got her to crack a small smile. A shy thing, something that lightened the room instantly. “Thanks Natsu.”

“And on that note!” Gray said quickly, standing and jerking Natsu up by his collar, kicking and snarling, “We bid you adieu.” 

“Stop with the French, we all know why you learned it! It’s for-” Natsu began, only to squawk as Gray hauled him out of the office with ease. 

“Gajeel, can you make sure they don’t get blood on the carpet?” Lucy asked quickly.

“Already on it.” Gajeel grumbled, following the pair out and leaving Lucy alone in her office, shaking her head and looking out at the mountains of files, her mind already zoned out on information...and where she could find more.

There was a pattern here and nobody was seeing it.

So consumed in her thoughts, she didn't hear Natsu whisper yelling from downstairs that he was going to _‘marry that woman’_ and _‘wife her so hard’_.  
.  
.  
.

If Lyon didn’t quit making ‘goo-goo eyes’ at Juvia, Gray was sure he was about to toss the rest of his latte at his face. He didn’t even try to hide craning his neck, casually brushing his pale hair from his forehead as he watched her stay busy behind the counter.

Of course, Gray knew first hand how eye-catching she was...but his brother needed to tone his curiosity down. Juvia was off limits to him...and technically himself too but what Gajeel didn’t know was fine.

“You’re gonna crack your spine dude. Stop looking. You got Meredy.”

Lyon flashed a grin, staring at her one second longer before dragging his gaze to his brother. The grin turned sly. “I know. I just...what does she _see_ in you? Like, she’s a ten and you’re a flex six...seven on a good day.”

He was lucky to dodge the bit of muffin Gray lugged at him.

“Stop throwing food before I call Ultear!” 

“Go ahead and call her! It’ll take her an hour to get here. I can do a lot of damage in that time!” Gray cackled back, ducking under the piece of dried icing sailing at his head. 

It was as if time turned back, leaving two competitive brothers trying to prove themselves while trying to appear innocent under their sister’s watchful eyes. The years didn’t matter. The mistakes and choices that lend them here didn’t matter. It was just them. Family.

“I missed this.” Gray said finally, after catching his breath enough to safely drink his hot latte. “Just hanging out and just chilling. It took awhile for our tiles to fall into place, but I think everything’s looking up.” He set his cup down and fixed a smile at Lyon. “I got a good job as a detective and you got your upcoming realtor plans. We are both on the straight and narrow now.”

“I was never as delinquent as you, but yeah. Ur would be proud of all of us.” Lyon agreed, stirring his iced coffee with a wistful sigh. “I’m just sorry it took us so long to figure it out.”

“Or that Ultear had to beat some sense into us.” Gray added, wincing and rubbing his head. “I think I still have brain damage.”

Lyon laughed, loud and bright, carefully putting down his scone. “Same here! But you tried to run from her! She can smell fear!”

“True that!”

Silence stretched between them, both in their own thoughts as cups clinked all around them. Gray had no idea how long the comfortable silence passed, but when Lyon spoke again, he picked out the tender tone immediately.

“Hey.”

When their eyes met, Lyon had his lopsided smirk. “Thanks for having my back and being there. I know I haven’t been the most awesome brother to you and Ultear, but you both never gave up on me, and it means a lot.” He fiddled with his fingers. “So...uh, thanks.”

His mind was a cluster of things, thought and confusion, so Gray did the only thing he was capable of. He opened his mouth, and closed it quickly, scratching his head.

It was an awkward silence now, and unbearable one.

“Well-”

“I should go-”

They both stood at the same time, chairs screeching awkwardly enough to gain some attention. Juvia flashed him a curious side-eye but looked away when he waved just as awkwardly. 

“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” Gray managed to choke out as they exited the cafe and around to the parking lot. “The roomies are rowdy, but you can always come over and hang out. Bring Meredy over sometime too.”

Lyon laughed lightly, thankful for the change of subject. “I will. Actually, I think she’ll love this cafe. Thanks for suggesting we meet here.”

Gray reached his car first, staring at his key fob before meeting Lyon’s eyes once again. “I’ll always have your back. Whenever you need me.” 

Lyon knew. Gray didn’t have to say it but hearing it brought out a warmth in his chest. “I know, man.”

With that, Gray offered the casual fistbump, his signature ‘goodbye but I’m too emotional to actually say it’. Lyon, absolutely in the same boat, returned it. No more words were needed.

Lyon turned away, marching to his beater as Gray opened his car door, and he didn’t turn back until he climbed into his car and watched as Gray started it up and began to back out of the space.

In his hands, the key rested as he placed his hand on the steering wheel, no effort to start the car being made. With a silence that was far more heavy, Lyon watched Gray’s tail lights as he pulled out of his spot and slowly moved out of the lot, turning on the street and vanishing.

Only then did Lyon crank the car and pull away, going the opposite direction. 

The street lights flickered by, twilight hour upon Magnolia. The car gave a metallic rumble at every stop sign and a whine at every left turn, but it held up as he made his way farther east. Over to the industrial district. Past the district. Up a small dirt road to the only parcel of land around that didn’t have an empty warehouse. The headlights illuminated an aged barn, wood rotting and half the roof collapsing from neglect. 

Outside the door, two figures came from the darkness as Lyon pulled to a stop. One with two back duffels, the other with a rifle.

“Midnight. Seilah. Always a pleasure.” he greeted evenly, slowly standing after he opened the door. His hands remained on the top of the door, barely flinching when Seliah flicked a flashlight to shine in his eyes. 

“Were you followed?” she hissed.

“Come on. Don’t cha guys know by now that I’m a professional? Of course I wasn’t.” He kept his voice low and steady, no trace of fear here.

“Maybe so, but we can’t be too careful. Where’s the money?”

Lyon flashed a brittle smile as he slowly moved to the trunk, every move carefully as can be. Pulling the two black duffels from his trunk, he watched Midnight shift a bit, adjusting his grip on the gun. 

“Here’s this payout. You got the next supply for me?” It was a dumb question. What else would be in the matching duffels? Still, these guys never appreciated his small talk and he was damn nervous even if he was pretty good at faking it.

Seilah hummed, tossing the two duffels on the ground before him as he marched up. In return, he tossed them just to the left, one by one.

Just as slowly, they both moved, unzipping the bags and peeking in.

“It’s good.” Seliah confirmed, and Midnight instantly relaxed, turning away with a yawn.

“Honestly, you have so little faith.” Lyon quipped, closing the bags and hefting them to his shoulders. “I just sold nearly a hundred kilos of this ‘Nirvana’ stuff. Dunno what’s in it but it seems like I’m getting more and more, heh, _loyal_ customers. I wouldn’t know what to do with all that cash.”

Seilah gave an easy grin, one that Lyon knew to be false and razor sharp. “Luckily, you don’t have to. Jose will be in touch with your cut, but just keep our... what was the word you used, _customers_ happy.”

“As you wish.” he answered, tossing the bags in his trunk and making a dramatic bow. “I shall take my leave. See you guys when I see you.”

He didn’t wait for a reply, sliding into his car and quickly backing away down the drive. The less time he was around them, the better. Just as before, the figures faded into the night, and Lyon carefully made sure to use his blinkers and stop at every light even if it was yellow.

At his side, his fingers dragged over his jacket-

-and the thick money stack he hid there, separated from its kin in the duffels left behind.

Meredy’s birthday was coming up soon, and after so many lack luster birthdays while they struggled, Lyon knew she deserved something real special. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn’t spoil her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here we are! All caught up! What a horrible year for me guys. I'm just ready to feel better eventually. It feels like I started my writing journey back at square one.  
Anyway! Working on my novel as well as this! As well as finish ACB and post it here. I am piling up my plate again.
> 
> Next Chapter:   
Bro Code #37: A Bro will never snitch about another Bro's sneaky, questionable, and downright hilarious tattoo.


	5. Of Friends, Foes, and Frittatas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic chaos, fated bear traps, and a birthday gift.
> 
> (M) Language and adult situations

“Do you idiots know what makes a great frittata?” Gajeel asked loudly, whisking the eggs in practiced circles. The sounds of metal on metal filled the kitchen.

“Nobody cares.” Gray piped up, eyeing the chamber of his glock before giving it one last wipe with the grease cloth. This obsession with clean firearms was honestly so expensive. Gajeel wished he had at least one towel left without gun oil stains on it.

Alas, he was forever cursed with ruined towels.

First was himself, using towels to stop the bleeding when he gave himself piercings. Then, it was that one chick that hid around the barracks in the academy to pick up guys, wiping her makeup all over anything nearby. Now it was Gray and Natsu, staining and burning towels respectively.

All he wanted was some decorative towels for the bathrooms so this place didn’t look like the frat house it clearly was.

“Wha’d he say?” Natsu called from the couch, staring at the ceiling as he finished his reps with the dumbbells

That guy had to just lay everywhere after a workout. On the nice rug, against the walls, and even the couch; he just had to touch it with his nasty body. If he didn’t make them pool funds for a weekly cleaning person, this place would definitely be a frat house.

Gajeel sighed, mentally reciting that they simply did not appreciate good food and good hygiene: It was a tragedy. Ignorance was bliss.

“He was tooting his own horn about frittatas.” Gray said, shifting his legs to get some blood flow back past his knees. At this rate, he was feeling like he had old man knees.

“Free tattas?” Natsu asked, casting one concerned glance toward the kitchen door. “We already have one stripper living here.”

It was a _tragedy_. They were in blissful _ignorance_.

“Why do I even bother? Just when I think they have more than two shared brain cells, they prove me wrong.” The poor eggs received a harsh swirl in the bowl. The frittata was going to be over-mixed if these fools kept irritating him.

He almost missed the knock on the door. He would have missed it if Natsu had not suddenly dropped his twelve pound, solid metal dumbbell on the hardwood floor. It bounced off the rug, the only saving grace from a dented floor.

“It’s the police! They found me!” The said idiot hollered, and Gajeel heard the couch scrape on the floor as he probably threw himself over the back. No dent, but Gajeel would most likely have to pull out the wood markers again.

“Dude, we are police and I’d have let them take you a long time ago if we weren’t.”

“Shut up Gray. Nobody even likes you.” More shuffling. “Did someone order pizza?”

“Maybe try opening the door instead of talking about it like idiots!” Gajeel snarled, storming around the corner and making his way to the front door. If it really was what he hoped it was, today was going to be so much better.

It was a miracle he didn’t throw open the door, eyeing the package on the step. It was rather large, larger than he expected. Waving absently to the delivery driver, he picked up the box and shut the door, searching for the label.

Gray Fullbuster. Aw fuck. Nevermind, today was bad.

“Damn, Fullbuster. I was hoping for my collector’s spoons from-”

“Me? Aw yeah, it’s here at last!” Said man nearly vaulted at Gajeel, snatching the box and holding up like some poor Lion King reenactment.

Then, he squinted at Gajeel with a grimace. “Spoons? Really man? Were you a granny in another life or sumthin?”

Natsu, Thing Number Two, leaned over the back of the couch with a serious look. “Popsicle, don’t diss his spoons. You know he’s sensitive about them.” Then his face cracked into a wicked grin. “It’s not very..._sporking_ of you.”

If Gajeel’s soul could have departed his body then, maybe peace could have been achieved on Earth.

But, the tears in the corners of Gray’s eyes were far more important to address than Natsu’s obvious death wish. Still holding the box like a precious child, he made his way to the couch, roughly kicking Natsu’s leg when he tried to trip him.

“Forget my spoons, what’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Yeah, what’s in the box? Onions? A new game console?” That devilish grin came back. “A new sense of style?”

It took one punch to launch him from the couch and sprawl him on the floor.

“No you fools! This.This is the greatest spur-of-the-moment purchase I have ever made in my entire life.” His fingers clawed at the tape, making short work of it as he ripped open the box flaps. Packing peanuts flew everywhere._ Everywhere._ Gajeel will be finding them in the couch for months.

“Behold!” Gray called as he pulled a massive, rectangular, red box covered in gloss and holding it up once again.  
It was big. It was shiny. It was…  
“The complete box set of Friends! Every season! Every episode!”

For the love of-

“Fork over the remote dickwad! I have today off and you have court escort duty in two hours!”

That was how the fist fight started. Fists flying, pillows soaring, tables scraping. Gajeel threw his spatula into the fray, but it didn’t help much. The two idiots wouldn’t quit until the remote was destroyed.  
Or…

Boxers came flying and Gajeel had to pull a Matrix to avoid getting them in the face. The egg mix, probably tired from being sloshed around and not cooked into a yummy, mind blowing frittata, splashed on the floor between the living room and kitchen. “For the love of-”

“What the_ fuck_ is that?!” Natsu screeched, having frozen solid once the boxers came off. His eyes, the size of pool balls, stared at something directly between Gray’s legs.

Now, Gajeel had an eyeful of ass and that itself was disgusting, but Natsu was really breaking roommate rule #18, don’t stare at another roomie’s junk. And Natsu was staring. Quite obviously.

“It’s my dick, you pervert!” Gray hollered, grappling a pillow from Natsu’s loose grip to cover up.

Natsu ignored him. “I’m not talking about the pencil of a penis you have! What is that above it?!”

Above it?

Curiosity killed the cat, Gajeel thought, slowly making his way over to Natsu. Satisfaction will not bring him back, though. There will be no rhyme or reason for him to be ok with the answer to Natsu’s questions but he had to know. Awkwardness aside.

It took him two seconds to process what he saw. Just two.  
A winking emoji, in black, above his-- _stuff_.

“You gotta be kidding me! I expected this from Natsu with the dumb lil lizard on his arm, not you!” He felt his pride crack, his soul die a little inside like the wisp of smoke after a candle went out. Both idiots had tattoos and he didn’t?! How dare they even try to achieve the amount of ‘cool points’ he has with his piercings!

“Hey! My dragon is at least cool!”

Gray got even redder, scrambling to snatch the boxers off the floor. “I was undercover, okay?! My suspect went into a tattoo parlor and I couldn’t go in there without looking suspicious, so I got a tattoo in an inconspicuous place!”

Scratch that, they had one shared brain cell. Not a cool bone in their bodies.

“Inconspicuous, right. Every person you take to bed is gonna see that. A whole new way to get some and have someone sit on your face!” Natsu cackled, and Gajeel was sure he might wet himself in his humor.

“Look here, firefart! I just wanna watch my show!” Gray snarled, pulling on his boxers and sparing Gajeel the wish to go blind. But then, he launched at Natsu, and that’s how the fight continued.

Sometimes, Gajeel wished he had the same patience as Metalicana. Before he, too, joined the fray, he thought about rule #37, Bros don’t snitch about another bro’s sneaky, questionable, or downright hilarious tattoos.  
.  
.  
.

The phrase, ‘bumped into so and so at the mall’ refers to seeing someone at the mall, not literally bumping into them. In a world of not very literal sayings, things tended to end up being literal.

Nastu literally bumped into Lucy at the courts. Like, bumped as in crashed into her like a truck to a brick wall because he was zoning out for four seconds.

She took the momentum, clutching her briefcase to her chest as she was about to go down, shielding her files with her own body as she was about to become familiar with the marble floors.

But, Natsu was quick. After a moment of coming back down to awareness, he struck like a cobra, grabbing her anywhere he could reach.

Startled, Lucy let the bag go to swing around her shoulder, grasping Natsu around the neck as he stopped her fall completely. If he wasn’t so guilty of nearly knocking her to the ground, Natsu would have had time to savor that their noses were touching, breaths mingling, her brown eyes wide and shining. The fact that she was clinging to him and he was the only thing preventing her dropping was secondary.

It took a second, but then he smiled. “The course of true love is never smooth, huh?”

Man if he was this smooth when he hadn’t just made a fool of himself. He’d take her on so many dates. Whatever she wanted. Anything she wanted. He just wanted to be around her.

She laughed. She actually laughed as he carefully pulled her up to stand on her own two feet. He didn’t remove his hands and neither did she. They could have been frozen in time and he would have been happy. Her cheeks were pink, her body still pressed against his. She wasn’t making a move to step away, and he was in no hurry either.

“Get a room you two.”

Moment officially over.

He actually saw her eyes shutter, the openness retreating back to the professional distance she held. Like a shield or a cloak. Like she had to protect herself.

He didn’t have time to consider it more, for she untangled from him with a shove hard enough to throw him off balance into the pillar behind them. His breath was stolen for a second.

“Judge Fernandes! We were...uh...discussing...the defendant!” It was good her career dealt with truths because she was a terrible liar. From her face, she knew it too.

Natsu grumbled and stood upright, ruffling his hair.

Jellal knew exactly what happened. He watched the train wreck from the bench. He grinned casually. “Oh? That was a very...intimate discussion.”

Lucy flailed, changing to a whole new hue but Natsu smirked, eyes alight.

“Seen it done a few times before. Like...you and Sargent Scarlet.”  
To Lucy’s amazement, Jellal became flustered, looking away and muttering about sentencing Natsu to community service or something for his lip. Then he gave them a wave and walked away down the hall. Not too fast, but Lucy could almost smell the embarrassment in the air. It was uncharacteristic to witness him be so embarrassed that he literally power walked away.

Glancing to a smug Natsu, she whispered, “Do they really?”

Natsu’s gaze softened, the smile less cocky. “They ain’t as sneaky as they like to think. Our break room will never be the same.”

He didn’t have a word for the shade of red her face became.  
.  
.  
.

All trace of that blush disappeared by the time Natsu escorted the defendant to his booth. Lucy was poised and ready, her face a mask but a hunger behind her eyes. He could respect that. Lucy never gave up and it looked like there was blood in the water.

He only half listened to the opening statements, more focused on Boars, or whatever his name was, squirming in his chair and the way Lucy brushed her hair behind her ears.

The new lawyer this guy hired prattled on, saying ‘this trial has gone on long enough’ and ‘if the prosecution had nothing else to add to move this along’.

He’d normally agree, but then he’d have to say goodbye to Lucy and go back home to Gray and his Friends-a-thon. He didn’t think he could handle looking at Popsicle anymore than he had today.

When the pudgy man sat down and Lucy rose to her feet, shuffling her papers, Natsu knew it was about to go down. There was that gleam in her eyes, the mask gone for a second. Here she was, in her element and obviously having a good hand with an ace up her sleeve.

She carried two simple tan folders, holding them like a fragile tray of glass as she approached Jellal. “Your Honor, I have new evidence to present to the court.”

Natsu could feel the groans from the jury and the defense, but Jellal just nodded and took them from her. He handed the other to his assistant, who then delivered it to the jury.  
Why Jellal’s eyes widened as he looked at what was in the folder, along with the rest of the jury, Natsu had no clue. But, for once, he waited patiently as he jiggled his right leg.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I present photo evidence from street cameras DH2006 to SD1998, of the defendant, Bora Prominence, disguised as an officer of Magnolia, aiding in transports of drugs and the movement of his ‘merchandise’ in the form of young girls. As you can see from SD2002 that one had been pulled over and inspected by our friends at the Department of Transportation, which is how Bora was arrested in the first place. He was caught in possession of 15 kilos of cocaine.”

She paused for effect, letting the jury whisper and made sure to glance at Bora’s pale face. Then she quirked her lips and went right back into it.

“Now, please direct your attentions to-”

Lucy was amazing, he had no doubts. She was so smart and could be just as ruthless under that soft smile. He liked that fire he saw in her eyes, that burning passion in whatever she set her mind to. Lucy was like the sun: bright and a daily comfort to see. Although, he mused with a grin, he wouldn’t go blind looking directly at her. His toes felt tingly, his stomach fluttering with something hotter than his noodle soup lunch.

She had that fire again as she turned to address the jury, who were looking more or less sold on whatever she was saying. Images of kilos of crack would definitely put this guy away, if not the paper trail of kidnapped girls. It should have been over then, in his opinion.

But Lucy never gave up, never gave in, and now she was pulling Barf, or whatever his name was, out of the pan and into the proverbial fire. She was so smart, not even stuttering as she laid out his crimes again for review. The trial was over, but she wasn’t done reminding this court why this guy deserved years. He was so proud to watch.

Natsu couldn’t stop his mind from thinking about if she would use that tone with him. Would it be if he left the fridge door cracked? If he didn’t bring her home that flour she had asked for? If he was late for their movie night date? If he did something stupid just to see that flame again, it would be worth it.

If she were cuddled up with him and pinned him to the couch, eyes ablaze as she demanded the remote and- _oh **no**_.

Abort mission. Shut down the brain.

The room was too hot, his stomach too fluttery. There was a huge problem, and he meant it as a pun too. Anything else would have been salvageable but this was too embarrassing.

As subtle as he could, Natsu glanced down in restrained horror at the tent in his pants. Nobody noticed, but then again who would be noticing the corrections officer popping a boner in the court of law as the prosecution was wrapping everything up for the jury to discuss. It wasn’t like he was on Crotch-Watch.

Inhale. Exhale. Gray wearing a tutu. Inhale. Exhale. Gajeel in an apron. Inhale. Exhale. Erza coming at him with her baton.

Lucy deserved better than him fantasizing about wrestling with her for a remote and popping a boner at the idea. She deserved better. He hadn’t even asked her on a date yet!

Now he does this just thinking about her?! Unreal.

The sound of a gavel echoed through his skull, startling him to look up as the jury filtered back in. _In?_  
“We are back in session-”_ back in session? How long did he zone out again?_-”and will read the verdict for Bora Providence.” Jellal said, his voice like a crack of thunder in the quiet room.

At least he was just a backup officer, only there in the viewing area to assist should the defendant get rowdy. His lapse and the unruly arousal remained unnoticed...for now. But, he had to get himself back under control. Why did he keep zoning out today?

He glanced at Lucy, taking in her golden hair and the stoic expression on her face. She had her dangling heart earrings on today, drawing attention to her neck and the little silk scarf she wore.

Wait, bad idea to look at the crush. Look away from the crush and boner-begone.

“The jury of this court find the defendant, Bora Providence, on the charge of kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment, and extortion: guilty.”

The court burst into noise, camera shutters snapping away while papers shuffled. Natsu kept his eyes on Jellal, who was nodding thoughtfully. Anything but looking at Lucy with her bright brown eyes and- _stop it_ Natsu.

“The jury also finds the defendant guilty on possession, impersonation of an officer, assault of an officer, and larceny.”

That was it. It was over. Natsu watched Jellal announce it as such and bang his hammer-thingy on his desk before turning to type away on his keyboard. But, he still had his...problem.

Avoiding looking at anyone, Natsu busied himself with helping cuff and move Bora to the custody of the other correction officers, keeping sure to have his back to the court until he felt it was safe to turn around. Nothing like listening to a convicted criminal sob and beg to solve his problem.

If he was going to talk to Lucy, he’d have to keep the imaginary wrestling matches for the safety of his room. At least, until he took Lucy on like, twenty dates, or something.

But, as he saw her packing up her bench, his mouth moved before his brain was ready.

“Sup Lucy?” Could he be any less cool?

Her beautiful eyes landed on him and he felt like he was under a microscope as she grinned at him, all sunshine and rainbows.

“Hey Natsu! Sorry for nearly boring you to sleep today but I really just wanted this charade of a trial over.” She kept packing up papers quickly, covering images up with her own notes and shoving them almost too quickly into folders. If she wasn’t careful, she’d bend the corners.

“Nah, I stayed up too late last night, but I knew you had this case in the bag. Congrats.”

Hands in his pockets, rest his weight to one foot, cue cool pose; Lucy had to notice some of his manly charm by now.

The little flush to her cheeks made his heart kick him in the ribs, but in such a good way. The best way to have his ribs kicked. “Thanks Natsu. But the job isn’t done. I still have a long way to go.”

He didn’t understand. Bora was in prison now. How was she not done? There was just the sentencing trial and she didn’t really have to be there. Oh, right, she probably had to file papers too. Defense Attorney stuff that he couldn’t understand. Didn’t want to understand at all actually. Their paperwork was worse than his.

“Always working. That’s why you’re the best ADA in the country! You even got ahold of traffic camera images! That stuff needs some pretty solid clearance. How on Earthland did you get the Chief to authorize them?”

Instantly, he realized he said something wrong. Lucy’s smile became forced, her eyes snapping away from his to focus on packing up even faster than she was before. Was she trying to hurry to get away from him or something?

“Oh, you know, sweet talk and I-O-U’s.” she skittered, her lips tripping over the words. “I’m pretty good at talking to people. I’m a people person. Anyway, why were you up so late?”

Natsu didn’t think of himself as a smart man but he did feel wise at times. This was one of those times. He was no stranger to redirection and stalling. They were effective against Erza when she was on a warpath.

“Cleaning the bathrooms since it was my turn this week but that’s besides the point. Did the Chief give you those or did Laxus?” Since it was only those two that could sign the release documents. Heck, she couldn’t even have access to streetlight camera data without proper clearance.

He would know. Erza made him catalog all of them as punishment for destroying training room equipment.  
But judging from the wide eyed and guilty look on her face, Lucy was being real cagey. Real suspicious.

Lucy did not have permission or clearance to access those photos and bring them to court. He was almost positive now. He had no idea how she managed to get that evidence, but if she bribed someone, that was also serious. But whom did she bribe? And with what?

With all the suspicion around the precinct and the recent murder within the jail, he didn’t want to make false assumptions.

“Lucy-”

His phone buzzed, drowning out anything but the theme to Cops. Even Lucy lost some of her guilty air to look amused at his ringtone. “Oh, wait hold on-” His fingers fumbled with the phone, bringing it to his ear as Lucy began to pack everything into her bags once more.

“Hello?”

_ “Yo brat! You ain’t busy are you?”_

Natsu blinked. “Pops?”  
Lucy gave him a glance, a smile on her lips as she watched him. She found herself watching him a lot these days.

“Sure, I have time to come over now. Yeah. Later.”

Of course, she made sure Natsu never caught her watching him. She made sure her bag was closed as he pulled the phone from his face.

“I gotta go. Pops needs some extra hands at the dojo.” _So, my suspicions will have to wait. But I won’t forget, Lucy._

Lucy sighed in relief. “I see. That’s so nice that you are so close with him.” Unlike her and her father but she didn’t need to overshare today.

Natsu huffed and scratched his head. “I guess so. But Lucy-” he paused and watched her shoulder her bag before meeting his gaze, “-just...don’t get into too much trouble, alright?” He eyed her bag meaningfully before pinning her with a stare. “Don’t be afraid to ask me for help, ok?”

Her eyes widened, her lips parting in surprise, but Natsu didn’t stick around, turning and waving behind him as he stalked off. After all, she was an attorney. She couldn’t be involved in anything bad, right?

He didn’t see the guilty look cross Lucy’s face, nor the thoughtful way she considered him as he left.  
.  
.  
.

He honestly didn’t mean for it to happen like this. Of all the things he planned today, he missed_ this_ part.

He ate a frittata like he wanted. Much later than he had originally planned but what was he to do? He hit the phone store because he needed an upgrade and Natsu kept calling his old phone ‘the first brick of Babylon’ -which he was honestly impressed by Natsu even remembering the name- but the old one was still a frickin’ smartphone. He still had to hit the grocery store but first he wanted to use the gym in the precinct. Not to mention going over the notes from the Erigor murder.

Something was smelling up in the underworld and he was going to crack it wide open.

And that is how he put his whole foot in the bear trap, one that was clearly there and obviously going to catch him.

His bag was cold against his bare shoulder, but the only clean tank he had left in his locker was the one a size too small. Not that it mattered to him but it did to another. Another, who crossed his path just before the gym, on her way to the evidence locker.

She had those reading glasses on her nose, her hair frazzled from running fingers through it, and wore casual clothes like she didn’t plan to be in today.

Levy McGarden looked every bit the gorgeous sprite he read about in mythology and she looked at him with those eyes and smile. The ones that made his heart stall and tell his stupid brain to word vomit everything he liked about her. Worse still, she had no idea she affected him so. This dance around each other was tiresome. He liked her and he was pretty sure she liked him, at least physically since her gaze drifted down to take in his physique against the tight shirt. They could work on the sappy shit later.

It was as if his brain switched all thought of working out off. The only thing that impulsed him to move from where he had frozen was the creak of the iron door, closing her in the secluded room.

All the other chances, he hesitated and watched them pass by. Not now. Not when he had a full stomach and a reason to stay away from the house today.

All it took was a swipe of his keycard and he was in, letting the cold metal door rest against his back as it shut. With the small thought that it was a giant hand giving that final push, Gajeel stepped into the dim room, watching Levy through the chain link fences that separated department files.

In the center of the entrance room was a conference area with chairs, a table in the dead center to go over boxes and files. Behind lay shelves and shelves of evidence, in boxes or files.

There she was, setting files out on the table for sorting, humming to herself. Who was he kidding, this was a dumb idea. He should just turn back around and leave, now, before she-

“Gajeel?”

The opportunity screeched to a halt just before passing him by, making sure to stomp on his gut before laughing.

“Hey, Shrimp.” If he could slap his face now, he would. After living with two morons he was bound to lose brain cells too.

But she puffed her cheeks in a pout too cute for him to totally regret putting his whole foot in his mouth.

“You can be so mean.” but her tone was light as she turned back to her work. “Anyway, did you need something?”  
Just to be near you and not in the house watching Friends-

“Nothing in particular. Just wanted to see you.”

He didn’t miss the way Levy’s shoulders tensed. Half a second. That was all it took for her to relax again. Did he say something wrong?

“Oh? Then I could use some help organizing these. I meant, if you don’t mind, like-I got it if you don’t-” The tips of her ears turned red as she stuttered.

“Sure, I got time.” Grocery shopping can wait.

He moved across the room, noting the uneven chill in the air. Out of all the rooms in the building, this was the worst. There were no windows, only one way in or out, and the main output of the air conditioning was just above them. It was warm in some places and chilly in others. He experienced the four seasons just to stand by her side.

They worked in silence, passing papers along and stacking separately. It was as if they had done this before, in a life a long way gone.  
Until, her fingers brushed along his while passing a particular packet about local arrests. It all came colliding down as they froze, each staring as if the limbs didn’t belong to them.

Together, their eyes drifted up, locking in stunned stupor. Levy inhaled and licked her lips. Gajeel couldn’t stop from watching it.

“Hey...Gajeel-” she breathed, setting the packet down but not removing her hand. He took this as a good sign.

Once again the brain checked out and it was all he could to just to hum in acknowledgement, never looking away. In the dim lighting, her hair looked dark, her eyes nearly shadows if not for the shine of the light reflecting off them.

“Can...can I try something...w-with you?” She looked away briefly, to their still touching hands, her cheeks even more flushed. “I’ll only take a second.”

Once again his mouth moved before his brain: “You can do anything to me for any number of seconds.” Nevermind, whole foot, size extra large, into mouth. Do not pass ‘Go’ and do not collect $200 jewels. Proceed to apply for re-certification in flirting because he just forgot how to do it completely when she looked at him like that.

She blinked once and then giggled, _giggled_, before lifting her hand to his chest, slowly pressing on where his heart was thundering away. “It’s nothing bad. I just want to check something.” She sounded more sure, confident even, and those manly butterflies were back, warming his entire being. How was she making _him_ swoon?

That one hand then slid up, over his shoulder and behind his neck. Her fingers tangled with the hair there as she moved closer, her small body just radiating heat. She came closer on her toes, eyes searching his all the while.

Then, as time slowed, he let her pull his head down. Down, down, down until her lips pressed to his. Yup, this was not on his to-do list but hell he was going to pencil this in!

No workout and definitely no grocery store.

Nope, he was going to stay here all day: kissing her or hiding in his office and thinking about kissing her.

Without his brain actually working, his body did all the work. He sighed into her, hands coming up to cup her cheeks, thumbs brushing stray locks of hair from her face. Oh, he missed the first four steps before this.

Step one: Woo her a little.  
Step two: Flirt like a boss.  
Step three: Ask her out on a date.  
Step four: Take her on three dates before even trying to think about kissing her.

This was all wrong but it felt so right. She felt right, full of spunk and smarts. Of all the things, she made the first move in this overly complicated dance of theirs. But, he’ll be making the moves from now on. He wasn’t going to lose to her.

He felt her shaking under the strain of standing on her toes for so long. Her breath came out in pants over his face but she never let go of his hair or stopped. This was not going to work.

“Sorry.” he managed to grunt when they separated long enough to breathe. She could slap him after.

The haze in her eyes cleared slightly as she breathed, “...wha--HA?”

In one motion, his hands moved from her face to her thighs. Then, he lifted from behind them, bringing her up and onto the table, squealing all the way. “Gajeel?!”

“Better?” he managed to grunt around the fact that she had spread her thighs around his hips. “You were shakin.”

Levy paused, blinking up at him before a Cheshire grin crossed her lips, completely counteracting the raging blush over her whole face. “Yeah, now shut up and keep kissing me.”

Hot damn. She wins.

“If you get too rowdy, I’ll have to put you under arrest.”

Oh, she giggled against his lips, petite fingers tangling in his hair and gently scraping his scalp. “Really, you’d arrest the woman you just made out with?”

He grinned, trying not to look as feral as he felt. With her damp lips and her cocky gaze, she certainly was putting him on the line.

“Equality of the sexes, yeah?” he teased, only to squawk when her legs curled around his hips to pull him closer. She made him _squawk_.

Yeah, he literally looked at the bear trap fate had put before him, knew that it was a trap and stomped on it as hard as he could. He was as hopeless as the two fools he lived with.

Levy’s lips connected with his again and all thoughts faded to silence and the soft tune of his heart in his ears.  
.  
.  
.

It would take about five steps for her to legally change her middle name to ‘Stealth’.

She wouldn’t though, she was very attached to ‘Lune’. Lucy Lune Heartfilia versus Lucy Stealth Heartfilia.

But, she was stealth.

Not just anyone could walk into the precinct at just the right time to remain unseen: when the camera security guard rotated and the desk clerk was on bathroom break. In that span of five minutes, she could walk straight through the lobby like she was supposed to be there and swipe the keycard to enter the actual offices.

From there, she could mosey over to the locker since most of the officers were patrolling or taking lunch in the offices. From there, she could switch out the files and grab new ones. After all, Bora was put away but there was so much more to do.

Chief Makarov wouldn’t admit it, but crime has increased. More drug violence. More hidden criminals in the shadows that Magnolia Police haven’t caught yet. Not to mention the witness killer that had slithered into the jail. What did AoD mean? She’d have to ask her informants.

If anyone was going to put these jerks in prison, it was her: with legal or illegal means. Sneaking felt wrong but going through the hoops was taking too long. Magnolia and her population were in danger. She’d apologize for breaking the rules after it was saved.

Lucy approached the iron door, carefully scanning the hall before pulling out a completely different card. Once again checking around, Lucy surreptitiously swiped and slid through the crack with her case to her chest. Oh she was so good she scared herself sometimes.

She shut the door quietly, stepping back from it and into the darkness along the fence. Just in and out. Find the file for Bora and put the papers back in. Maybe grab Erigor’s if she could.

Lucy then turned, a smirk on her lips as she entered the common area, and felt like she was clubbed in the stomach.

There, both without shirts, were Gajeel and Levy. Both panting and staring at her with wide and equally shocked expressions. Gajeel had a few light scratches on his shoulder blades and Levy had a monster hickey growing on her lower neck. It didn’t take a P.h.D to figure out what she just walked in on. Or how far up the creek without a paddle she now was.

All she could think, in the seconds it took for the couple to come back to themselves was ‘Lucky Lucy Stealth Heartfilia indeed’. It was bad enough Natsu was catching on. Now she just blew the whole thing wide open.

“L-LUCY!”

“What, and I truly mean this, the fuck?”

“Oh my...my eyes. They have seen things.” Lucy managed to say, monotone and feeling quite dead inside.

“Close ‘em then!” Gajeel roared, only now thinking to cover Levy with his broad body.

“Gajeel, you didn’t lock the door!”

“_Me?_ You coulda said sumthin!”

“I was kinda distracted!”

“Well I’d like to get back to being distracted too so kindly kick Bunny Girl out-”

“I can excuse myself!” _Go now_, Lucy thought, _now and lock all my doors_.

“You ain't even supposed to be allowed in here!” Gajeel snarled, flashing a stare that would kill kittens and set fire to party balloons. “You got five seconds to get yer butt out before I lock you up!” To add to the threat, he stepped away and turned to face her, eyes blazing.

It was way past time for her to evacuate.

Gajeel even stomped up as she scrambled to the door, not even trying to be quiet as she threw it open and skittered down the hall like the devil was after her. In a way, it was true.

He slammed the door with a snarl of a curse, inhaling through his nose slowly.

“As for you-” he turned to look at Levy over his shoulder. It was hard to keep his aggressive air when she rubbed her thighs together nervously. “I’m going to teach you a lesson about not reminding me to lock the door.”

Levy nibbled on her bottom lip. “And...am I going to enjoy it?” she asked hesitantly.

The grin he gave her was downright wicked. “Parts of it, if you behave.”

The evidence room door lock clicking was the loudest thing Levy had ever heard.  
.  
.  
.

“Happy Birthday.”

Meredy shifted, glancing up from her magazine to the small box Lyon held out to her in the palm of his hand. Carefully, she shifted up, removing her feet from his lap to accept the velvet gift, a smile crossing her lips. Inside, glittering just like it did from the commercials, a crystal necklace on a platinum chain.

“Lyon, it’s beautiful! I love it!” She really did. It felt expensive, looked expensive, and she was positive it cost more than they both made in six months. There was no way, they haven’t gotten the complete payout for the jobs yet!

“Put it on. Let me see.” He was so relaxed, all the stress from the past few months having gone into thin air. Money can’t buy happiness, they say, but it certainly lets people sleep without financial stress.

Come to think of it, he had been acting more...relaxed since they started getting the apartment fixed up. New plumbing. New TV and game systems. More food in the fridge than they could ever hope to eat. Every week, Lyon added something new.

As if they had money to afford the nicer things in life. Yet, they still ate microwave dinners and still mooched cable and WiFi from the neighbors.

“Beautiful.” Lyon murmured as he touched the necklace on her chest. “I knew it was perfect for you.”

“Yes, but how on earth did you get it? You didn’t steal it, did you?” She had to ask, because that was how they usually got nice things. Wheeling, dealing, and stealing.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Well, now that was worrying. It wasn’t often she had to be the voice of reason.

“Lyon-”

“Meredy, I promise you it’s okay. Everything is going to be great. I just need a little more time and we can have it all.” He pressed his hand to hers, eyes still on the necklace. “A nice house. A few cars. Whatever we want.” He met her eyes, scorching her heart with the passion in them. “We can be happy and free.”

“What made you think I wasn’t happy now?” she murmured softly.

Lyon blinked, as if he never expected her to snap at him. “I wasn’t-”

Meredy pounced then, sitting on his chest and staring down at him with a smirk. “I told you that being together makes me happy, weathering the struggles together. These-” she gestured to the whole room, “-are really, really nice. But what makes me happy is us working together as a team.”

She then leaned over to press her lips to his. “So, stop assuming I’m not. But do keep getting me pretty things.”

Before he could form an answer, she was off him and back in her spot, picking up the magazine and smirking to herself.

A knock startled him out of his daze, but not the warm fuzzy feeling left from her touch or her words. “Oh, did you invite someone over?”

Meredy didn’t look up from her book. “No? We paid electricity off so it shouldn’t be collections either.”

Lyon frowned. “True. And rent isn’t late yet.”

He wasn’t expecting anyone. Gray knew where they lived, but he would never drop by without texting. Ultear also wouldn’t stop by without warning.  
The only way to find out was to look, he supposed, although getting off the warm couch and leaving Meredy sucked. Maybe they would go away?

His hope for that faded when another knock sounded, the same as the first.

“Who is it?” he called, standing and skipping to the door to peek through the peephole. He received no answer and did not see a soul. Huh. Weird. A prank wasn’t too far of a

guess.

With steady hands, he unlocked and opened the door, glancing up with a question on his lips.

“Nobody steals from the boss and lives.”

The last thing Lyon saw was the barrel of the gun pointing between his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And here we are, a climax point at last. Buckle up!
> 
> Next Chapter:  
There was a lot he liked about her. Her muffins were good. Her eyes were like the ocean and all he wanted to do was dive in. Oh, and the way she nearly took his head off with the swing of a steel mixing paddle. Clearly a catch.


End file.
